My Podcast
Parenting can be tough, especially when your kids are misbehaving. Join me each week as I look at behavior through the lens of behavioral psychology. If you are struggling with issues like defiance and tantrums in your toddler, or if you just want to learn how to motivate your school-aged child, then this podcast is for you!
EPISODE 98: ADHD REVISITED
It’s been two years since the first episodes about ADHD aired on this podcast. At the time Heather’s son, Landon, had just been diagnosed with ADHD. Well a lot changes in two years! In this episode we will give a quick recap on the different types of ADHD, as well as go over non-medication and medication treatment options. We will end with an update on how Landon is doing currently, what treatments have worked for him, and which treatments were less than ideal.
EPISODE 97: YOGA, BIRTH, AND BABIES WITH DEB FLASHENBERG
This week Heather interviews Deb Flashenberg. She is the founder of the Prenatal Yoga Center in New York, and she is the host of the Yoga | Birth | Babies podcast. Her mission is to “empower pregnant people to take an active role in their birth so they can emerge feeling heard, seen, understood and supported.”
Show notes:
To learn more, please visit:
Or follow on social media at:
EPISODE 96: IN THIS FAMILY WE DO HARD THINGS
Grit is one of those things best taught through life experience. This week we dive into how to support our kids with the tools they need to work towards their goals, the best way to motivate them when they need an extra push, and the power of modeling determination for them in our own lives.
EPISODE 95: STILL I RUN WITH SASHA WOLF
Why is mental illness still stigmatized, and how can running improve the mental health of parents? This week Sasha answers these questions and shares her personal story about why she started the non-profit Still I Run. She also gives some practical advice to Heather who recently signed up for a half-marathon.
Show notes:
To learn more or get involved, please visit:
Or follow on social media at:
EPISODE 94: WELCOME TO SEASON 3
The fall is upon us and winter is coming! In the upcoming season of the Prism Parenting podcast we will explore topics related to parenting, improving the behavior of our kids, and more through solo episodes and many great interviews. In this introduction, Heather gives a sneak peak about the topics that will be covered this season and also a quick update about her summer. Welcome back!
EPISODE 93: PARENTING WHILE WORKING FROM HOME- WITH SHARI MEDINI
It’s been over a year since the start of the pandemic, and a large number of parents continue to work from home. This has both its advantages as well as challenges. This week Shari Medini from Adore Them Parenting shares practical strategies to help parents effectively work from home while still being the supportive parents they desire to be.
Show notes:
Learn more about Shari at her website:
Her book, Parenting While Working From Home, is available on amazon:
Follow her on Instagram here:
EPISODE 92: LEARNING TO THRIVE POST-DIVORCE WITH TORREY COMMISSO
This week licensed therapist Torrey Commisso shares her personal journey of divorce, single-parenting, and remarriage. She provides insight for parents walking through these challenges to help them move from just trying to survive to truly thriving in their new normal.
Show notes:
Learn more about Torrey's new book at surviving2thriving.life
You can also get in contact with Torrey at her website: therapywithtorrey.com
Follow her on Instagram here @TorreytheTherapist
EPISODE 91: THE BEST WAY TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR CHILD (AND SPOUSE!) - WITH AMBER TRUEBLOOD
Every strong relationship has at least one common thread: effective communication. But how do you make that happen in your own home?! This week Amber Trueblood, a licensed marriage and family therapist, shares her wisdom on the best ways to improve family communication.
Show notes:
Amber's website is ambertrueblood.com and her IG is instagram.com/officialambertrueblood and podcast is called The Stretch Marks Podcast which you can find wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.
EPISODE 90: BACK TO THE BASICS: FIGHTING THE URGE TO OVERREACT OR GIVE IN WHEN YOUR KIDS ACT OUT
Often our kids act out to communicate with us. In this episode we will work through the best (and worst) ways to react when our kids act out.
EPISODE 89: BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ANXIETY AS A PARENT: WITH DR. SHARYN KENNEDY
Many parents are tolerating rather than managing their anxiety, and this can make parenting even more challenging than it already is. This week, Dr. Kennedy gives practical strategies to manage and reduce anxiety as parents.
Show notes:
Dr. Sharyn helps individuals understand how the brain works, so they can deal more effectively with difficult problems, manage upsetting relationships and face up to scary and unpleasant situations. Learn more at:
EPISODE 88: BACK TO THE BASICS: WHAT IS TRIGGERING YOUR CHILD?
This week we start a mini-series dedicated to the fundamentals of understanding and changing your child’s behavior. In this first episode we uncover what’s triggering your child’s behavior and (more importantly!) how to make effective changes to prevent triggering it in the future.
EPISODE 87: HELPING YOUR CHILDREN MANAGE CHRONIC STRESS WITH DR. KJELL HOVIK
Although stress is not a new phenomenon for kids, it’s definitely exacerbated in our current context. This week’s guest Dr. Hovik provides several practical strategies to help your child deal with long-term (as well as short-term) stress.
Show notes:
Dr. Kjell Hovik is the co-author of When Crisis Strikes: 5 Steps to Heal Your Brain, Body, and Life From Chronic Stress. You can find out more about this book and the other resources he provides by going to his website:
EPISODE 86: HELPING YOUR CHILD (AND YOU!) SLEEP AT DIFFERENT AGES
Sleeping difficulties can occur at any age. This week we will cover how to help your child sleep during infancy, the toddler years, and into early childhood.
EPISODE 85: HELPING YOUR CHILD BUILD STRONG COMMUNICATION SKILLS WITH MARCI MELZER
Marci discusses how to know if your kiddo is language delayed and also the best strategies to use to facilitate fast and steady language growth.
Show notes:
Marci is the founder of Waves of Communication. You can find out more about her coaching, classes, and a multitude of other resources by going to her website:
EPISODE 84: THREE WAYS TO SURVIVE THOSE DAYS WHEN THRIVING ISN'T AN OPTION
Being a parent is amazing, but it’s also challenging, even on the best days. On the hardest days, it sometimes feels impossible to check yourself in the moment and change course. To kick off season 2, we will discuss three ways to show up as a parent on those days that you just don’t feel like it.
EPISODE 83: UNDERSTANDING LYME DISEASE WITH DR. ROSEANN
This week on the show Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge discusses several topics including Lyme disease prevention and treatment, helping kids who suffer from chronic stomach aches, and managing night terrors during the toddler years.
Show notes:
Check out Dr. Roseann's website at
You can also find her on social media
EPISODE 82: HOW TO UNAPOLOGETICALLY RAISE STRONG DAUGHTERS
Culture still finds ways to tell women that they are less than. This week we look at three quotes from Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. Based upon these quotes, we will consider the best way we can raise our daughters to become strong and independent young women.
EPISODE 81: THE CELL PHONE DILEMMA WITH ISAIAH MCPEAK
What age should kids get cell phones, and what are the risk and benefits that parents should be aware of? This week Isaiah McPeak shares invaluable information and perspective about this important topic.
Find out how to help your kids have a healthy relationship with technology by checking out Pinwheel’s resources:
EPISODE 80: THE KEY TO LESS PICKY EATING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON
The holidays are a good opportunity to introduce your kids to new food and help them move past picky eating habits. In this episode we cover three simple (and painless!) things you can try with your kids.
EPISODE 79: REPLAY: RAISING GRATEFUL LITTLE HUMANS
Ever wonder what you can you do to raise grateful little humans?! This week is Thanksgiving, and I think it is the perfect time to contemplate this topic. In this episode I’ll go over three practical ways to do just this. For the fun of it, I’ve also included a short interview with my daughter, Ady.
EPISODE 78: SIBLINGS: SOMETIMES FAIR IS NOT EQUAL
Do my kids need to be parented differently than one another? How can I do this without making my kids think I’m playing favorites? This week we cover what to do to guard against the perception of favoritism while still meeting the unique needs of each child.
EPISODE 77: HOW TO CREATE CALM, JOY, AND CONFIDENCE WITHIN THE CHAOS OF MOTHERHOOD WITH DR. CLAIRE NICOGOSSIAN
This week Dr. Claire Nicogossian provides practical tips on how moms can set themselves up for success to proactively manage their feelings of anger and frustration.
You can find out more about Dr. Nicogossian by visiting her website. Connect with her on Instagram for insight how to thrive in your day to day life as a parent. Also, don’t forget to check out her book Mama You Are Enough.
EPISODE 76: THE FOUR THINGS YOUR CHILD'S TANTRUM COULD BE TELLING YOU
Sometimes it seems like our kids act out for no reason, but behavior always has a cause! This week we will chat about four things your child’s tantrum could be telling you.
EPISODE 75: THE HAPPY CHILD WITH MATT LARSON
Sometimes it seems like we need to choose between keeping our kids happy and doing what we know is best for them in the long-term. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be one or the other. This week Matt Larson gives us several practical and proven ways to help our kids (and us!) find lasting happiness.
Find out more about Matt's nonprofit organization the Human Improvement Project by checking out their website, and download The Happy Child app on Apple or Android devices.
EPISODE 74: SUPPORTING YOUR KIDS FROM THE INSIDE OUT
This week Dr. Rebecca Branstetter will give insight on how to help your kids emotionally thrive rather than just survive in our current context. She will explain how mental health professionals in the schools are currently helping students and how to access their support if your child needs it.
- Download Rebecca's free guide with 25 self-care practices by visiting her website.
- Follow her on Instagram: @Thrivingschoolpsych.
- Check out her books here.
EPISODE 73: HOW TO (AND NOT TO) TALK POLITICS WITH YOUR KIDS
This political season has been challenging for so many reasons. Likely your kids have picked up on some of the high emotions and stress so many are feeling. This week we break down the DO’s and DO NOT’s of discussing politics with our kids.
EPISODE 72: THRIVING AS A FAMILY IN CHALLENGING TIMES
This week Prism Parenting teams up with Generation Mom to dish out practical insight and resources. The focus is on helping all the moms out there thrive despite the continued chaos that 2020 has (and continues to!) dish out.
EPISODE 71: GIVING YOUR KIDS THE GIFT OF FAILURE
Failure is important because it’s tied to resilience. While we all know this, it’s so tempting in the moment to shelter our kids. This week we will talk about what to do instead of rescuing them.
EPISODE 70: A COLORFUL LIBRARY WITH MIJHA GODFREY
Although most parents agree that teaching kids about diversity is important, it is hard to know the best way to do this. In this episode, Mijha Godfrey from Jambo Books shares how to do this in an easy and fun way with the help of children’s literature.
Coming soon.
EPISODE 69: BREAK THE CYCLE AND STOP GIVING IN
As parents, it’s hard to be consistent. So often we say something, our kids protest, and we just give in. This week we will go over why we give in as parents and the easiest way to break the cycle.
EPISODE 68: BALANCING WORKING AND SCHOOLING FROM HOME WITH JEN MCKINNON
As a working mom, it often feels like there are not enough hours in the day. Of course 2020 has only intensified this! Whether you're homeschooling or your kids are participating in distance learning, chances are you are feeling overwhelmed. This week Jen Mackinnon provides practical strategies to balance career and our children’s education in the current climate.
EPISODE 67: "YOU'RE GROUNDED... FOREVER"
Sometimes it is easy to overreact when our kids act out. In this episode we discuss a series of questions to ask yourself when wondering whether or not to adjust discipline that you previously decided on.
EPISODE 66: PARENTING IN BLENDED FAMILIES WITH MELISSA BROWN
This week Melissa Brown from the Blended Family Podcast discusses her personal journey as a mom and step mom. She shares what to do (and what not to do) to find peace within a blended family.
Melissa is an entrepreneur who runs several businesses. For over 13 years she has run a successful cleaning company along with her husband. They also have a business in the finance industry, where they train and develop financial advisors, as well as educate people about how money works, so that they can achieve true financial freedom. Additionally, she hosts the Blended family podcast, a weekly show about the many challenges and struggles today's blended families face. Having a blended family of her own for well over 10 years, she is now using her experiences to help others. She lives with her husband, their four children, her mother in law, and two English bulldogs in the state of Florida.
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EPISODE 65: THREE STEPS TO TEACH YOUR KIDS TO PLAY INDEPENDENTLY
If your child doesn’t play well independently, chances are that you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s a skill that needs to be learned and you can actually start teaching it from day one. In today’s show we discuss how to teach your child independent play skills at each developmental stage.
EPISODE 64: REFLECTIONS ON PARENTING DURING THE WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE
Just days after my thirtieth birthday, my whole world came crashing down. Although I had been perfectly healthy up until that point, I ended up having six surgeries in nine months. This week I’ll share about my personal heath journey, and what it was like to parent an infant and toddler in the midst of it all.
EPISODE 63: 4 INSIGHTS FROM HOMESCHOOLING WEEK 1
This week I will share with you four insights from the first week of my homeschool experiment. Whether you are starting the school year at home, or you just want to be ready to pivot to distance learning if need be, this episode was recorded will you in mind!
- It’s not as hard as I thought it would be… And I actually enjoyed it! I feel closer to both of my kids already. It’s not that we don’t have our moments, but our first week went reasonably well.
- I need to embrace the flexibility rather than be too rigid. If our schedule needs to change temporarily, then that is totally fine. This is a key benefit to homeschooling that I can’t let myself miss out on.
- If I was going to do this long term I’d want to pick my own curriculum. Going with one that matches our local school’s curriculum is helpful since we want to transition back easily, but there are things about it that could be improved upon.
- Positive feedback is key. For every piece of corrective feedback, I want to give two examples of what my kids are doing well.
EPISODE 62: ACCIDENTALLY HOMESCHOOLING
This week we discuss five strategies to use when teaching your kids at home. The episode is for all parents of school-aged kids, because most will be starting the school year in distance learning. Those that aren’t will need to be prepared to do so on a moment’s notice.
1. You can’t do this alone. Enlist family and friends to help. Find social media groups to support you with ideas. Who is your village?
2. Get your home organized. Where will your kids do their school work? Choose a place with the least amount of distraction.
3. Get schoolwork organized. Use daily planners and have a designated place for folders and books.
4. A little bit of time goes a long way. Many homeschool kids in elementary school are able to get their academics completed within two hours per day. If your kids are distancing learning, you shouldn’t feel like you have to spend more time than that helping them with school work. Consider using nights and weekends, if your schedule during the day makes helping them with academics challenging. Give yourself the gift of time by teaching your kids to do things like make their own breakfast and prepare their own snacks.
5. If you aren’t using using a reward system yet, there has never been a better time to start. Whether you are homeschooling, distance learning, or just wanting a good after school routine a reward system is very helpful. Download my free guide by going to www.prismbehavior.com/freeguide to learn how to create one that will work with your kids.
EPISODE 61: THE WHINING HAS GOT TO STOP!
One thing all parents deal with from time to time is whining. This week we will cover three simple strategies to reduce whining in your home.
-A complaint is just a request, in disguise. Ask yourself is whether or not your kids know how to politely make a request. If not, then teach them how to.
-Develop a short rule to share with your kids. First sit down and tell your kids why you don’t want them to whine and what you want them to do instead. Then create a rule such as “Tell me a solution instead of the problem.”
-While you are are trying to train your kids to switch from whining to requesting, make sure that to honor appropriate requests as often as possible.
EPISODE 60: THE SPANKING EPISODE
In this episode, we go over the historical background of spanking and some present day stats. We also discuss what behavioral science and psychology have to say about it and the most effective alternatives to it.
-People have been spanking their kids for a long time. Also, despite laws to the contrary in 60+ countries, there is evidence that most parents still spank.
-Psychology and behavioral science are largely opposed to spanking. This is because there is evidence that it is not very effective (i.e., other discipline tactics like time-out and loss of privileges are equally effective) and it may have long-term negative effects for some kids (i.e., it may lead to higher levels of aggression, mental health issues, and negative relationships with parents).
-If you spank, you may put other caregivers at a large disadvantage. Your child may learn to comply when you are around to avoid a spanking, but not when other caregivers are around.
-If you use the proactive strategies we often discuss on this podcast (e.g. rewards systems) , you won’t have to discipline as often.
EPISODE 59: SURVIVING SUMMER 2020 WITH YOUR KIDS
Summertime is already in full swing. Listen this week to learn three ways to survive summer in the midst of the new normal.
-Create structure. An easy way to do this is to create a list of things your kids do each morning. Do yourself a favor, and make sure the list contains enough things that your kids can do independently.
-Set screen time limitations. If your kids have iPads, go to the screen time section inside settings and set limits. You can limit the time of day and the amount of time.
-Give your child the gift of independence. Teach your kids to do something that they don’t currently know how to do.
-Find a new way to connect with your kids this summer. This could be art projects, reading a chapter book together, cooking or baking together, or something similar. Choose wisely. Do something that you will like AND your child will like. It’s more about quality time and less about what the actual activity is. If it stresses you out, it’s probably not worth it.
EPISODE 58: BECOMING AN EXTRAORDINARY MOM WITH JESSICA DAHLQUIST
Over the years Jessica Dahlquist from the Extraordinary Moms podcast has interviewed hundreds of mothers and learned valuable lessons from each one of them. This week she tells us all about what that experience has been like, as well as her own personal journey as a mother to three amazing boys of her own.
Find out more about Jessica by going to her website (extraordinarymomspodcast.com), following her on Instagram (instagram.com/jessicadahlquist3), Facebook (facebook.com/extraordinarymomspodcast) , or emailing her at [email protected]
Her podcast is called Extraordinary Moms and can be found on all podcast platforms.
EPISODE 57: TEACHING YOUR KIDS TO APOLOGIZE
Apologizing is a very important skill for kids to learn. While most parents require their kids to say “sorry,” it is easy to stop there. In this episode, we break down how to teach our kids respectful and authentic apologies.
Here are steps that elementary-aged kids can follow when apologizing:
- Use a serious face; don't smile, scowl, or anything similar.
- Say the person’s name in the apology to make it personal.
- Make eye contact. It doesn’t necessarily have to be sustained, but at least when the person’s name is spoken it is good to look at their eyes.
- Explain what they are sorry or apologizing for. Just a “sorry” doesn’t cut it because it doesn’t acknowledge the wrong that happened.
- If possible, make the wrong right.
EPISODE 56: TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT RACE AND RACISM PT. 2: WITH DR. COX
Dr. Michelle Cox, school counseling professor and mom of four, shares her perspective about how to talk to kids about race and racism.
Coming soon.
EPISODE 55: TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT RACE AND RACISM PT. 1: WITH DR. PRATT
Dr. Talin Pratt, school psychologist and single mom of three multiracial kids, shares her perspective about how to talk to your kids about race and racism.
EPISODE 54: CAPITALIZING ON TEACHABLE MOMENTS
As parents we often decide that it’s time to teach our kids a particular skill. Other times, we are able to use a more child led approach. In this episode, I will walk you through how to identify and capitalize on teachable moments.
-Teachable moments happen all of the time. Sometimes, a teachable moment might just be capturing your child’s interest of the moment to teach them something new. For example, if your child is admiring a butterfly, you might teach them about the life cycle of caterpillars. Or, if your child asks for a new toy, you might teach them a chore or two to earn money to pay for it.
-Other teachable moments happen during a mini-crisis. For example, if your child spills their milk, you may teach them how to mop.
-Do not feel obligated to take advantage of each teachable moment. It would feel overwhelming to do that, since so much during your child’s day could be turned into a learning opportunity. Instead, just try to insert them here and there, when possible.
EPISODE 53: THE DO'S AND DON'TS OF TIME-OUT
Though the majority of your effort should be on positive parenting strategies to prevent your child from acting out, sometimes you will still need to discipline them. Time-out can be effective, but only when done correctly. This week we cover the do’s and don’ts of time-out.
1) The first thing to keep in mind is that time-outs should only be used in some situations. When kids are doing an activity they don’t like (e.g., cleaning their room), time-outs don’t usually work. This is because sitting on time-out might actually be more fun than what they are supposed to be doing.
2) Time-outs should always be our Plan B. If you find that you are using time-out often, then it’s time to reconsider your Plan A approach. Plan A is all the things you are doing to prevent your child from acting out. Check out episode #51 as well as the e-book From Defiant to Compliant: Parenting Strategies That Just Work (www.prismbehavior.com/ebook) for more information about how to prevent your child from acting out.
3) Keep your emotions in check as best as you can when you put your kids on time-out. This is hard! Give yourself grace. Time-out doesn’t need to be this an overly negative experience. Instead, it can just be a time for you and your child to reset. The science tells us that if you use it correctly, your child will be less likely to act out next time.
EPISODE 52: 5 WAYS TO DEVELOP A GROWTH MINDSET IN YOUR KIDS
Growth mindset is a buzz word right now. While it’s a very important skill for everyone to have, it is especially important for kids. This week we will go over five ways to help your kids develop a growth mindset.
1. Teach your child about growth mindset. If you don’t know exactly what to say, no worries. Amazon has a ton of great books that you can read to your kids to teach them in developmentally appropriate ways.
2. Change your vocabulary. For example, instead of telling your kids that they did great at something because they are smart, praise them for working hard.
3. Reframe what your kids say when they display a fixed mindset. For example, if your child says they can’t do something encourage them to add the word “yet” to the end. For example, if they say, "I can’t read chapter books,” have them say “I can’t read chapter books yet.” Then help them plan how to gain the skills they need.
4. Let your kids fail. So often as parents we try to protect our kids from failure, but kids learn so much when they are allowed to fail.
5. Sit down with your kids and help them develop SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time specific). Write them down, and then help instruct them in how they can realize those goals. Teach them what they need to do they need to do today to meet their goals tomorrow.
EPISODE 51: DEFIANT TO COMPLIANT: PARENTING STRATEGIES THAT JUST WORK
Today we will discuss four things you can start doing today to bring more peace and harmony to your home. When you start using these strategies, you child is more likely to listen… the first time you ask!
The content for this episode is actually a sneak peak into my new e-book From Defiant to Compliant: Parenting Strategies That Just Work. In the book I cover several other strategies that can be used alongside the four below. I also explain why your little one is behaving the way that they are and what you can do to successfully motivate your child to listen to you. Check out more about the book by going to www.prismbehavior.com/ebook
1. Front Load: Kids are less likely to act out if you’ve recently given them attention, when they aren’t bored, and when they aren’t being forced to do what they dislike doing. Of course they can’t always get what they want! However, if there is an important situation where you can’t afford to have them act out, plan ahead and "fill their cup" beforehand.
2. Prime Transitions: Before transitioning to a new activity, give a warning when possible. For example, before leaving a friend’s house tell your son that he has five minutes left to play. Using a digital timer often makes this strategy even more effective.
3. Break up Tasks: Before transitioning to a new activity, give a warning when possible. For example, before leaving a friend’s house tell your son that he has five minutes left to play. Using a digital timer often makes this strategy even more effective.
4. Provide Choices: As parents, we make a lot of decisions for our children, and this can make them feel powerless at times. When possible, allow your child to make choices. This will probably decrease his or her frustration and likelihood of displaying challenging behavior. The only caveat is that it is not a good idea to allow your child to make choices after he or she displays challenging behavior. Instead, provide choices proactively.
EPISODE 50: NAP STRIKES
Naps are a time for your child (and you!) to recharge. But what do you do if your child starts to resist a nap that they still need?! This week I’ll provide several tips to help you manage your kiddo’s next nap strike.
- First of all, consider whether or not your child actually needs the nap. Once your child is past the newborn stage, many gradually fall into two naps (one before lunch and one in the afternoon). By around a year or a year and a half, many transition to one longer nap in the afternoon. Kids stop napping entirely at different ages, but often between three and five; some kids in kindergarten may still even nap. Check out what the National Sleep Foundation (www.sleep.org) has to say about how much sleep kids need. Some basics are that toddlers need at least 12 hours of sleep (and maybe even closer to 14 hours).
- Many kids don’t want to nap because they have some early onset FOMO. One of the easiest things you can do is consider if there is anything you can do to make the nap environment more inviting (e.g., get them a special snuggle toy they ONLY get during nap time, incorporate a sound machine, hang a dark curtain to block sunlight, incorporate a nap alarm, etc.).
- Give them back some of the power. Specifically, maybe it would be enough if they could check in with you a few times before going to sleep. You can use a ticket system where they exchange a ticket to check in with you, and they can earn a prize if they don’t come out after they run out of tickets. Just try to ensure early success by giving them enough tickets. For example, if they typically get out of bed three times before falling asleep, consider giving them four tickets to start and fade back to less over time.
EPISODE 49: AVOIDING THE COMPARISON GAME
Parents have been comparing themselves to each other forever, but parents of today have it especially tough. In this episode we will go over five ways to fight off the comparison game.
- You do you. If lists are decreasing your stress, then create lists and schedules. If you have tried them and they are increasing your stress level, find a way to feel organized and in control without creating a list. You can have “brainstorm” sessions as a family over a meal once a day to make a plan of what tomorrow will look like. You can settle into a routine that everyone understands and can plan on.
- Be careful about social media and remind yourself that most of us post our best moments, rather than our worst. You might have had a hard afternoon, but noticed your child did something adorable and quickly snapped a picture. What are you likely to post?
- Flip the script. For example, if you are feeling discouraged about your house being messy, you might think to yourself, “My house is always messy.” Train yourself to replace the “always” with “sometimes” and then think of three times that your house was clean in the recent past… Or maybe your house hasn't been clean. If that is the case, list out three positive things you did for yourself or others recently instead of cleaning. There is a reason you prioritized other things.
- Stop taking on the world and find ways to lighten your load. If you have a spouse or significant other, sit down and discuss ways to lighten your load.
- Remove the chaff. Some of us have those negative Nancy friends in our life. They complain about everything, make you feel like less. Maybe it’s time to let go of those in our life who are pulling us down.
EPISODE 48: PARENTING ON THE SAME PAGE AS YOUR SPOUSE
Making parenting decisions is challenging, and it’s easy to not to agree with your spouse on what’s best. In this episode we’ll discuss five ways to parent on the same page as your spouse.
- Communication is very important. While this may seem obvious, it is often the most challenging. Pencil time into your schedule regularly (once a week, at a minimum) to have open and honest decisions. Do this before problems arise to act as a preventative measure, rather than a reactive one.
- Write out your core parenting philosophy together. What is permitted and what isn’t, in terms of discipline? How you will you motivate your kids to behave in the ways you want them to?
- Back up your spouse or significant other in front of your kids when it comes to parenting decisions. It’s important for your kids to know that they cannot play you against each other. It’s important for one parent not to be constantly “rescuing” their kids from the other. If you strongly disagree with a decision your spouse or partner is making in real time, come up with a discrete symbol that signals to the other that you need to go to a quiet place to discuss the matter at hand. As a caveat, this does not pertain to domestic violence issues. Check out resources for DV by going to https://www.thehotline.org, the website for the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
- Avoid being controlling. Your spouse won’t always do things exactly like you and/or exactly the way you want them to. Pick your battles, and praise their efforts. All of us need positive reinforcement on what we are doing right. Otherwise the situation will become aversive, and we will not even try.
- Seek out counseling or parenting classes if you have tried the above strategies and are still struggling. My course is called Parenting with Confidence. Check it out here: www.prismbehavior.com/course.
EPISODE 47: RAISING ADULTS WITH KIRA DORRIAN & DEANA THAYER
This week Kira and Deana from the Raising Adults podcast give us strategies we can use to raise our kids to become the independent and responsible adults we hope they will become.
EPISODE 46: FAMILY SURVIVAL DURING COVID-19 WITH KAREN LOCK KOLP
This week the Prism Parenting podcast is collaborating with the We Turned Out Okay podcast to discuss family survival during the COVID-19 pandemic.
EPISODE 45: HELPING KIDS OVERCOME ANXIETY PT. 2- WITH DR. MICHELLE MAIDENBERG
In part two of this interview with Dr. Michelle Maidenberg we focus on how to prevent anxiety in children and also how to manage it when our kids do experience it.
-Asking your child a lot of open ended questions and checking in with them often is helpful.
-Help your child understand that they shouldn’t feel guilty when they have feelings one way or another. They can control their behavior, but their thoughts cannot be controlled.
-Have your child use basic mindfulness and mediation practices. These are skills that will need to be developed, so if they struggle with them first that is okay.
-Therapists can be a big help to children who are experiencing anxiety.
Check out:
-Michelle’s website for resources including “A letter to our children in the throws of coronavirus pandemic": michellemaidenberg.com
-Michell’s book Free Your Child From Overeating: 53 Mind-Body Strategies for Lifelong Health: amazon.com/Free-Your-Child-Overeating
-Michelle’s non-profit Thru My Eyes, which provides a legacy for the family members of those facing chronic and terminal illness: www.thrumyeyes.org
EPISODE 44: HELPING KIDS OVERCOME ANXIETY PT. 1- WITH DR. MICHELLE MAIDENBERG
Over the past decade or so, anxiety among kids has increased. As parents it’s hard to know what anxiety truly looks like in kids and how to respond. This week Dr. Michelle Maidenberg helps us better understand and navigate through this important topic.
Some of the highlights from the interview with Dr. Michelle Maidenberg:
EPISODE 43: PARENTING IN CHALLENGING TIMES: AN INFECTIOUS DISEASE DOCTOR, SPECIAL EDUCATOR, AND BEHAVIOR ANALYST'S PERSPECTIVE
This week’s show is a collaboration between Prism Parenting and This is Real Life with Jenn Blossom. In it we will first talk to an infectious disease doctor about her take on COVID-19. Then Heather and Jenn will get pragmatic on what this means for parents coping with a new normal.
Some of the highlights from the interview with Jenn and Dr. King are as follows:
-There hasn’t been a pandemic like this in a long time. The medical community doesn’t have all the answers yet.
-For healthy individuals who get COVID-19, their symptoms might be minor.
-As tests become more easily available, the number of cases may go up quickly. However, the mortality rate may go down as milder cases are identified.
-Social distancing is helpful and necessary to help those who are elderly and/or immunocompromised.
-Make memories with your kids during this challenging time. Show kindness.
Some of the highlights from discussion between Heather and Jenn are as follows:
-Stick to the truth but don’t blow it out of proportion. In my professional opinion it’s even wise to tell your three-year-old in a developmentally appropriate way what is going on. Even something simple like, “Some people are getting sick, so we are going to wash our hands extra today to get rid of germs,” is helpful.
-Remind your kids of what you are doing to keep them safe.
-Check in with your kids frequently about how they are feeling and ask a lot of open ended questions. It’s okay to say that you don’t know all of the answers.
-Be mindful of your conversations with others that you are having in front of your kids. Even if your kids don’t completely understand what you are talking about, they can easily read your tone and body language. If you can stay calm it will help them to stay calm.
-Be careful of watching the news in front of your kids.
-Creating schedules will help everyone feel more secure and stable.
EPISODE 42: HELICOPTER PARENTING: HOW TO BALANCE FREEDOM AND PROTECTION
We live in an age where helicopter parenting has become the norm. In this episode we’ll go over three things to consider when you are trying to decide how much freedom to give your kids. Per usual, we’ll focus on facts rather than fear.
Your kids are safer than you think. Rates of child mortality and abduction are significantly lower now than when we were growing up.
Be wary of social media. At best it is probably making you a bit paranoid. Stories of unlikely situations spread like wildfire and feel commonplace. At worst, it’s perpetuating complete lies. For example, you may have a random thought or worry that isn’t grounded in fact. Chances are, there is a FaceBook group out there dedicated to perpetuating that worry.
Freedom and responsibility go hand in hand... and your kids should have both. Start young, be purposeful, and don’t let fear trump fact.
For older episodes, please go to prism parenting podcast archive.
EPISODE 97: YOGA, BIRTH, AND BABIES WITH DEB FLASHENBERG
This week Heather interviews Deb Flashenberg. She is the founder of the Prenatal Yoga Center in New York, and she is the host of the Yoga | Birth | Babies podcast. Her mission is to “empower pregnant people to take an active role in their birth so they can emerge feeling heard, seen, understood and supported.”
Show notes:
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