My Podcast

Show notes: 

Learn more about Shari at her website: 

adorethemparenting.com

Her book, Parenting While Working From Home, is available on amazon:

Book Link

Follow her on Instagram here: 

instagram.com/adorethemparenting

Show notes: 

Learn more about Torrey's new book at surviving2thriving.life

You can also get in contact with Torrey at her website: therapywithtorrey.com

Follow her on Instagram here @TorreytheTherapist

Show notes: 

Amber's website is ambertrueblood.com and her IG is instagram.com/officialambertrueblood and podcast is called The Stretch Marks Podcast which you can find wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. 

Show notes: 

Dr. Sharyn helps individuals understand how the brain works, so they can deal more effectively with difficult problems, manage upsetting relationships and face up to scary and unpleasant situations. Learn more at:

www.cbtabudhabi.ae

Show notes: 

Dr. Kjell Hovik is the co-author of When Crisis Strikes: 5 Steps to Heal Your Brain, Body, and Life From Chronic Stress. You can find out more about this book and the other resources he provides by going to his website:

www.lovehovik.com

Show notes: 

Marci is the founder of Waves of Communication. You can find out more about her coaching, classes, and a multitude of other resources by going to her website:

wavesofcommunication.com

Show notes: 

Check out Dr. Roseann's website at 

drroseann.com

You can also find her on social media

@drroseannandassoc

Find out how to help your kids have a healthy relationship with technology by checking out Pinwheel’s resources:

pinwheel.com

You can find out more about Dr. Nicogossian by visiting her website. Connect with her on Instagram for insight how to thrive in your day to day life as a parent. Also, don’t forget to check out her book Mama You Are Enough.

Find out more about Matt's nonprofit organization the Human Improvement Project by checking out their website, and download The Happy Child app on Apple or Android devices. 

• Download Rebecca's free guide with 25 self-care practices by visiting her website.
• Follow her on Instagram: @Thrivingschoolpsych.
• Check out her books here.

Coming soon. 

Links to Jen Mackinnon's resources: 

Melissa is an entrepreneur who runs several businesses. For over 13 years she has run a successful cleaning company along with her husband. They also have a business in the finance industry, where they train and develop financial advisors, as well as educate people about how money works, so that they can achieve true financial freedom. Additionally, she hosts the Blended family podcast, a weekly show about the many challenges and struggles today's blended families face. Having a blended family of her own for well over 10 years, she is now using her experiences to help others.  She lives with her husband, their four children, her mother in law, and two English bulldogs in the state of Florida.

Website

www.blendedfamilypodcast.com

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www.facebook.com/blendedfamilypodcast

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www.blendedfamilypodcast.com/group

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www.twitter.com/1blendedfamily

Itunes

www.blendedfamilypodcast.com/itunes

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• It’s not as hard as I thought it would be… And I actually enjoyed it! I feel closer to both of my kids already. It’s not that we don’t have our moments, but our first week went reasonably well.
• I need to embrace the flexibility rather than be too rigid. If our schedule needs to change temporarily, then that is totally fine. This is a key benefit to homeschooling that I can’t let myself miss out on.
• If I was going to do this long term I’d want to pick my own curriculum. Going with one that matches our local school’s curriculum is helpful since we want to transition back easily, but there are things about it that could be improved upon.
• Positive feedback is key. For every piece of corrective feedback, I want to give two examples of what my kids are doing well.

1. You can’t do this alone. Enlist family and friends to help. Find social media groups to support you with ideas. Who is your village?
2. Get your home organized. Where will your kids do their school work? Choose a place with the least amount of distraction.
3. Get schoolwork organized. Use daily planners and have a designated place for folders and books.
4. A little bit of time goes a long way. Many homeschool kids in elementary school are able to get their academics completed within two hours per day. If your kids are distancing learning, you shouldn’t feel like you have to spend more time than that helping them with school work. Consider using nights and weekends, if your schedule during the day makes helping them with academics challenging. Give yourself the gift of time by teaching your kids to do things like make their own breakfast and prepare their own snacks.
5. If you aren’t using using a reward system yet, there has never been a better time to start. Whether you are homeschooling, distance learning, or just wanting a good after school routine a reward system is very helpful. Download my free guide by going to www.prismbehavior.com/freeguide to learn how to create one that will work with your kids.

-A complaint is just a request, in disguise. Ask yourself is whether or not your kids know how to politely make a request. If not, then teach them how to.

-Develop a short rule to share with your kids. First sit down and tell your kids why you don’t want them to whine and what you want them to do instead. Then create a rule such as “Tell me a solution instead of the problem.”

-While you are are trying to train your kids to switch from whining to requesting, make sure that to honor appropriate requests as often as possible.

-People have been spanking their kids for a long time. Also, despite laws to the contrary in 60+ countries, there is evidence that most parents still spank.

-Psychology and behavioral science are largely opposed to spanking. This is because there is evidence that it is not very effective (i.e., other discipline tactics like time-out and loss of privileges are equally effective) and it may have long-term negative effects for some kids (i.e., it may lead to higher levels of aggression, mental health issues, and negative relationships with parents). 

-If you spank, you may put other caregivers at a large disadvantage. Your child may learn to comply when you are around to avoid a spanking, but not when other caregivers are around. 

-If you use the proactive strategies we often discuss on this podcast (e.g. rewards systems) , you won’t have to discipline as often. 

-Create structure. An easy way to do this is to create a list of things your kids do each morning. Do yourself a favor, and make sure the list contains enough things that your kids can do independently. 

-Set screen time limitations.  If your kids have iPads, go to the screen time section inside settings and set limits. You can limit the time of day and the amount of time.

-Give your child the gift of independence. Teach your kids to do something that they don’t currently know how to do. 

-Find a new way to connect with your kids this summer. This could be art projects, reading a chapter book together, cooking or baking together, or something similar. Choose wisely. Do something that you will like AND your child will like. It’s more about quality time and less about what the actual activity is. If it stresses you out, it’s probably not worth it.

Find out more about Jessica by going to her website (extraordinarymomspodcast.com), following her on Instagram (instagram.com/jessicadahlquist3), Facebook (facebook.com/extraordinarymomspodcast) , or emailing her at [email protected]

Her podcast is called Extraordinary Moms and can be found on all podcast platforms.

Here are steps that elementary-aged kids can follow when apologizing:

- Use a serious face; don't smile, scowl, or anything similar.
- Say the person’s name in the apology to make it personal.
- Make eye contact. It doesn’t necessarily have to be sustained, but at least when the person’s name is spoken it is good to look at their eyes.
- Explain what they are sorry or apologizing for. Just a “sorry” doesn’t cut it because it doesn’t acknowledge the wrong that happened.
- If possible, make the wrong right.

Coming soon.

Find Dr. Pratt online :

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Psychologist/Talin-Pratt-Associates-LLC-108614620874352/

Website: https://www.talinprattassociates.com/?fbclid=IwAR20bKS79YjXpVBLICwfPCuKOmLQ6FGpvpm7FUkaM1ADLTI6W1uTw8KICxQ

-Teachable moments happen all of the time. Sometimes, a teachable moment might just be capturing your child’s interest of the moment to teach them something new. For example, if your child is admiring a butterfly, you might teach them about the life cycle of caterpillars. Or, if your child asks for a new toy, you might teach them a chore or two to earn money to pay for it.
-Other teachable moments happen during a mini-crisis. For example, if your child spills their milk, you may teach them how to mop.
-Do not feel obligated to take advantage of each teachable moment. It would feel overwhelming to do that, since so much during your child’s day could be turned into a learning opportunity. Instead, just try to insert them here and there, when possible.

1) The first thing to keep in mind is that time-outs should only be used in some situations. When kids are doing an activity they don’t like (e.g., cleaning their room), time-outs don’t usually work. This is because sitting on time-out might actually be more fun than what they are supposed to be doing.

2) Time-outs should always be our Plan B. If you find that you are using time-out often, then it’s time to reconsider your Plan A approach. Plan A is all the things you are doing to prevent your child from acting out. Check out episode #51 as well as the e-book From Defiant to Compliant: Parenting Strategies That Just Work (www.prismbehavior.com/ebook) for more information about how to prevent your child from acting out.

3) Keep your emotions in check as best as you can when you put your kids on time-out. This is hard! Give yourself grace. Time-out doesn’t need to be this an overly negative experience. Instead, it can just be a time for you and your child to reset. The science tells us that if you use it correctly, your child will be less likely to act out next time.

1. Teach your child about growth mindset. If you don’t know exactly what to say, no worries. Amazon has a ton of great books that you can read to your kids to teach them in developmentally appropriate ways.

2. Change your vocabulary. For example, instead of telling your kids that they did great at something because they are smart, praise them for working hard. 

3. Reframe what your kids say when they display a fixed mindset. For example, if your child says they can’t do something encourage them to add the word “yet” to the end. For example, if they say, "I can’t read chapter books,” have them say “I can’t read chapter books yet.” Then help them plan how to gain the skills they need.

4. Let your kids fail. So often as parents we try to protect our kids from failure, but kids learn so much when they are allowed to fail. 

5. Sit down with your kids and help them develop SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time specific). Write them down, and then help instruct them in how they can realize those goals. Teach them what they need to do they need to do today to meet their goals tomorrow.

The content for this episode is actually a sneak peak into my new e-book From Defiant to Compliant: Parenting Strategies That Just Work. In the book I cover several other strategies that can be used alongside the four below. I also explain why your little one is behaving the way that they are and what you can do to successfully motivate your child to listen to you. Check out more about the book by going to www.prismbehavior.com/ebook

1. Front Load: Kids are less likely to act out if you’ve recently given them attention, when they aren’t bored, and when they aren’t being forced to do what they dislike doing. Of course they can’t always get what they want! However, if there is an important situation where you can’t afford to have them act out, plan ahead and "fill their cup" beforehand. 

2. Prime Transitions: Before transitioning to a new activity, give a warning when possible. For example, before leaving a friend’s house tell your son that he has five minutes left to play. Using a digital timer often makes this strategy even more effective. 

3. Break up Tasks: Before transitioning to a new activity, give a warning when possible. For example, before leaving a friend’s house tell your son that he has five minutes left to play. Using a digital timer often makes this strategy even more effective. 

4. Provide Choices: As parents, we make a lot of decisions for our children, and this can make them feel powerless at times. When possible, allow your child to make choices. This will probably decrease his or her frustration and likelihood of displaying challenging behavior. The only caveat is that it is not a good idea to allow your child to make choices after he or she displays challenging behavior. Instead, provide choices proactively.

• First of all, consider whether or not your child actually needs the nap. Once your child is past the newborn stage, many gradually fall into two naps (one before lunch and one in the afternoon). By around a year or a year and a half, many transition to one longer nap in the afternoon. Kids stop napping entirely at different ages, but often between three and five; some kids in kindergarten may still even nap. Check out what the National Sleep Foundation (www.sleep.org) has to say about how much sleep kids need. Some basics are that toddlers need at least 12 hours of sleep (and maybe even closer to 14 hours).
• Many kids don’t want to nap because they have some early onset FOMO. One of the easiest things you can do is consider if there is anything you can do to make the nap environment more inviting (e.g., get them a special snuggle toy they ONLY get during nap time, incorporate a sound machine, hang a dark curtain to block sunlight, incorporate a nap alarm, etc.).
• Give them back some of the power. Specifically, maybe it would be enough if they could check in with you a few times before going to sleep. You can use a ticket system where they exchange a ticket to check in with you, and they can earn a prize if they don’t come out after they run out of tickets. Just try to ensure early success by giving them enough tickets. For example, if they typically get out of bed three times before falling asleep, consider giving them four tickets to start and fade back to less over time.

• You do you. If lists are decreasing your stress, then create lists and schedules. If you have tried them and they are increasing your stress level, find a way to feel organized and in control without creating a list. You can have “brainstorm” sessions as a family over a meal once a day to make a plan of what tomorrow will look like. You can settle into a routine that everyone understands and can plan on.
• Be careful about social media and remind yourself that most of us post our best moments, rather than our worst. You might have had a hard afternoon, but noticed your child did something adorable and quickly snapped a picture. What are you likely to post?
• Flip the script. For example, if you are feeling discouraged about your house being messy, you might think to yourself, “My house is always messy.” Train yourself to replace the “always” with “sometimes” and then think of three times that your house was clean in the recent past… Or maybe your house hasn't been clean. If that is the case, list out three positive things you did for yourself or others recently instead of cleaning. There is a reason you prioritized other things.
• Stop taking on the world and find ways to lighten your load. If you have a spouse or significant other, sit down and discuss ways to lighten your load.  
• Remove the chaff. Some of us have those negative Nancy friends in our life. They complain about everything, make you feel like less. Maybe it’s time to let go of those in our life who are pulling us down. 

1. Communication is very important. While this may seem obvious, it is often the most challenging. Pencil time into your schedule regularly (once a week, at a minimum) to have open and honest decisions. Do this before problems arise to act as a preventative measure, rather than a reactive one. 
2. Write out your core parenting philosophy together. What is permitted and what isn’t, in terms of discipline? How you will you motivate your kids to behave in the ways you want them to?
3. Back up your spouse or significant other in front of your kids when it comes to parenting decisions. It’s important for your kids to know that they cannot play you against each other. It’s important for one parent not to be constantly “rescuing” their kids from the other. If you strongly disagree with a decision your spouse or partner is making in real time, come up with a discrete symbol that signals to the other that you need to go to a quiet place to discuss the matter at hand. As a caveat, this does not pertain to domestic violence issues. Check out resources for DV by going to https://www.thehotline.org, the website for the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
4. Avoid being controlling. Your spouse won’t always do things exactly like you and/or exactly the way you want them to. Pick your battles, and praise their efforts. All of us need positive reinforcement on what we are doing right. Otherwise the situation will become aversive, and we will not even try. 
5. Seek out counseling or parenting classes if you have tried the above strategies and are still struggling. My course is called Parenting with Confidence. Check it out here: www.prismbehavior.com/course. 

-Asking your child a lot of open ended questions and checking in with them often is helpful.
-Help your child understand that they shouldn’t feel guilty when they have feelings one way or another. They can control their behavior, but their thoughts cannot be controlled. 
-Have your child use basic mindfulness and mediation practices. These are skills that will need to be developed, so if they struggle with them first that is okay.
-Therapists can be a big help to children who are experiencing anxiety.

Check out:
-Michelle’s website for resources including “A letter to our children in the throws of coronavirus pandemic": michellemaidenberg.com 
-Michell’s book Free Your Child From Overeating: 53 Mind-Body Strategies for Lifelong Health: amazon.com/Free-Your-Child-Overeating
-Michelle’s non-profit Thru My Eyes, which provides a legacy for the family members of those facing chronic and terminal illness: www.thrumyeyes.org

Some of the highlights from the interview with Dr. Michelle Maidenberg:

Some of the highlights from the interview with Jenn and Dr. King are as follows:

-There hasn’t been a pandemic like this in a long time. The medical community doesn’t have all the answers yet. 

-For healthy individuals who get COVID-19, their symptoms might be minor.

-As tests become more easily available, the number of cases may go up quickly. However, the mortality rate may go down as milder cases are identified.

-Social distancing is helpful and necessary to help those who are elderly and/or immunocompromised. 

-Make memories with your kids during this challenging time. Show kindness.

Some of the highlights from discussion between Heather and Jenn are as follows:

-Stick to the truth but don’t blow it out of proportion. In my professional opinion it’s even wise to tell your three-year-old in a developmentally appropriate way what is going on. Even something simple like, “Some people are getting sick, so we are going to wash our hands extra today to get rid of germs,” is helpful. 

Your kids are safer than you think. Rates of child mortality and abduction are significantly lower now than when we were growing up. 

Be wary of social media. At best it is probably making you a bit paranoid. Stories of unlikely situations spread like wildfire and feel commonplace. At worst, it’s perpetuating complete lies. For example, you may have a random thought or worry that isn’t grounded in fact. Chances are, there is a FaceBook group out there dedicated to perpetuating that worry. 

Freedom and responsibility go hand in hand... and your kids should have both. Start young, be purposeful, and don’t let fear trump fact.