My Podcast

Parenting can be tough, especially when your kids are misbehaving. Join me each week as I look at behavior through the lens of behavioral psychology. If you are struggling with issues like defiance and tantrums in your toddler, or if you just want to learn how to motivate your school-aged child, then this podcast is for you!

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EPISODE 45: HELPING KIDS OVERCOME ANXIETY PT. 2- WITH DR. MICHELLE MAIDENBERG

In part two of this interview with Dr. Michelle Maidenberg we focus on how to prevent anxiety in children and also how to manage it when our kids do experience it.

-Asking your child a lot of open ended questions and checking in with them often is helpful.
-Help your child understand that they shouldn’t feel guilty when they have feelings one way or another. They can control their behavior, but their thoughts cannot be controlled. 
-Have your child use basic mindfulness and mediation practices. These are skills that will need to be developed, so if they struggle with them first that is okay.
-Therapists can be a big help to children who are experiencing anxiety.


Check out:
-Michelle’s website for resources including “A letter to our children in the throws of coronavirus pandemic": michellemaidenberg.com 
-Michell’s book Free Your Child From Overeating: 53 Mind-Body Strategies for Lifelong Health: amazon.com/Free-Your-Child-Overeating
-Michelle’s non-profit Thru My Eyes, which provides a legacy for the family members of those facing chronic and terminal illness: www.thrumyeyes.org

EPISODE 44: HELPING KIDS OVERCOME ANXIETY PT. 1- WITH DR. MICHELLE MAIDENBERG

Over the past decade or so, anxiety among kids has increased. As parents it’s hard to know what anxiety truly looks like in kids and how to respond. This week Dr. Michelle Maidenberg helps us better understand and navigate through this important topic.

Some of the highlights from the interview with Dr. Michelle Maidenberg:

 

Anxiety can have several causes. Genes often play a role and having family members diagnosed with anxiety can be a risk factor for kids. Also, situational factors/trauma often cause anxiety.
 
Anxiety is different than worry. In kids it often involves perseverating, overthinking, and hyper-focusing  on a thought or situation. Pessimism, overreacting, and a “chatty mind” are also associated with anxiety in children.
 
In part two of this interview we will focus on what parents can do if their kids are experiencing anxiety.
 
Check out:
-Michelle’s website for resources including “A letter to our children in the throws of coronavirus pandemic": https://www.michellemaidenberg.com 
-Michell’s book Free Your Child From Overeating: 53 Mind-Body Strategies for Lifelong Health: http://www.amazon.com/Free-Your-Child-Overeating-Handbook/dp/1615192700 
-Michelle’s non-profit Thru My Eyes, which provides a legacy for the family members of those facing chronic and terminal illness: https://www.thrumyeyes.org 
 

EPISODE 43: PARENTING IN CHALLENGING TIMES: AN INFECTIOUS DISEASE DOCTOR, SPECIAL EDUCATOR, AND BEHAVIOR ANALYST'S PERSPECTIVE

This week’s show is a collaboration between Prism Parenting and This is Real Life with Jenn Blossom. In it we will first talk to an infectious disease doctor about her take on COVID-19. Then Heather and Jenn will get pragmatic on what this means for parents coping with a new normal.

Some of the highlights from the interview with Jenn and Dr. King are as follows:

-There hasn’t been a pandemic like this in a long time. The medical community doesn’t have all the answers yet. 

-For healthy individuals who get COVID-19, their symptoms might be minor.

-As tests become more easily available, the number of cases may go up quickly. However, the mortality rate may go down as milder cases are identified.

-Social distancing is helpful and necessary to help those who are elderly and/or immunocompromised. 

-Make memories with your kids during this challenging time. Show kindness.

Some of the highlights from discussion between Heather and Jenn are as follows:

-Stick to the truth but don’t blow it out of proportion. In my professional opinion it’s even wise to tell your three-year-old in a developmentally appropriate way what is going on. Even something simple like, “Some people are getting sick, so we are going to wash our hands extra today to get rid of germs,” is helpful. 

-Remind your kids of what you are doing to keep them safe. 

-Check in with your kids frequently about how they are feeling and ask a lot of open ended questions. It’s okay to say that you don’t know all of the answers. 

-Be mindful of your conversations with others that you are having in front of your kids. Even if your kids don’t completely understand what you are talking about, they can easily read your tone and body language. If you can stay calm it will help them to stay calm.

-Be careful of watching the news in front of your kids. 

-Creating schedules will help everyone feel more secure and stable.

EPISODE 42: HELICOPTER PARENTING: HOW TO BALANCE FREEDOM AND PROTECTION

We live in an age where helicopter parenting has become the norm. In this episode we’ll go over three things to consider when you are trying to decide how much freedom to give your kids. Per usual, we’ll focus on facts rather than fear.

Your kids are safer than you think. Rates of child mortality and abduction are significantly lower now than when we were growing up. 

Be wary of social media. At best it is probably making you a bit paranoid. Stories of unlikely situations spread like wildfire and feel commonplace. At worst, it’s perpetuating complete lies. For example, you may have a random thought or worry that isn’t grounded in fact. Chances are, there is a FaceBook group out there dedicated to perpetuating that worry. 

Freedom and responsibility go hand in hand... and your kids should have both. Start young, be purposeful, and don’t let fear trump fact.

 

 

EPISODE 41: BABIES ARE NOT PIZZAS! WITH DR. REBECCA DEKKER

Approximately one birth out of three is a traumatic experience. This week Dr. Rebecca Dekker from Evidence Based Birth comes on the show to discuss her new book Babies are Not Pizzas. She will break down what you need to know to feel knowledgeable and empowered as a parent navigating the healthcare system.

-About one in three births is traumatic. Traumatic birth includes a wide range of experiences including a life threatening situation for the baby and/or mother and psychological distress.

-Many of the practices that women’s health professionals use are outdated. Some are harmful.

-One of the best ways to prevent an unnecessary traumatic birth experience is to attend birth classes. These classes will help you and your partner feel empowered so that you can advocate for the type of birth experience that you want. Dr. Rebecca Dekker offers classes all over the US and abroad. Find out more here: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/events/. 

-Another great resource to help you make informed decisions about you and your baby’s care is Rebecca’s book, Babies are Not Pizzas. Check out the first chapter of it for free by going here: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/book/ 

-Make sure you you subscribe to the Evidence Based Birth podcast and follow Rebecca on IG (@ebbirth)!

-BONUS: Did you know that bed rest during pregnancy may actually be harmful rather than helpful? Check out the articles Rebecca referred to on the show here: 

American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (2015). Committee Opinion No. 650. Physical activity and exercise during pregnancy and the postpartum period. Obstet Gynecol, 126, e135–42.

Berger, R., Rath, W., Abele, H., et al. (2019). Reducing the Risk of Preterm Birth by Ambulatory Risk Factor Management. Dtsch Arztebl Int., 116(50), 858-864.

da Silva Lopes, K., Takemoto, Y., Ota, E., et al. (2017). Bed rest with and without hospitalisation in multiple pregnancy for improving perinatal outcomes. The Cochrane database of systematic reviews, 3(3), CD012031. 

 Hendriks, E., MacNaughton, H., and MacKenzie, M. C. (2019). First Trimester Bleeding: Evaluation and Management. Am Fam Physician, 99(3), 166-174.

Kehler, S., Ashford, K., Cho, M. & Dekker, R. (2016): Experience of Preeclampsia and Bed Rest: Mental Health Implications, Issues in Mental Health Nursing.

Matenchuk, B., Khurana, R., Cai, C., et al. (2019). Prenatal bed rest in developed and developing regions: a systematic review and meta-analysis. CMAJ open, 7(3), E435–E445.

 

EPISODE 40: PARENTING WITH THE OUTCOME IN MIND

As people we are always deciding if our behavior is worth the effort. It’s no different with kids! This week I’ll help you to identify how to change your parenting approach to get the results that you want.

-Consider one behavior your child is currently struggling with. Do you think they continue to behave this way to get something (e.g., your attention or actual items) or are they hoping to get out of doing something they don’t want to do (e.g., chores, leaving the park, or homework). 

-Determine if they need help communicating their thoughts and feelings more appropriately. Kids need to learn how to get the outcomes they want in socially appropriate ways. If they don’t learn how to do this on their own, you may have to more explicitly teach them. Give them they words to say so that the next time they want something or don’t want something, they know how to tell you. 

-Next, identify what you will do when your child can't get what they want. Even if they ask in the most angelic way, kids can’t always get what they want. The good news is that you can use a reward system to motivate your child to do what you need them to do instead. 

-For example, your son might be arguing with you because he wants to delay his homework. Even if it doesn’t usually work, he knows there is a TINY chance that it might. That’s the outcome he wants. However, he might also really want to watch a certain program or eat a certain snack. If you had a reward system in place, then he might choose to comply even though he dislikes homework. Simply put, that show or snack is worth it to him; all of a sudden, you are tipping the scales and making his behavior worth the effort. 

EPISODE 39: WHAT'S TRIGGERING YOUR CHILD'S MELTDOWN?

Behavior always happens for a reason. Although we can’t always identify why it happens, often we can. On this episode I dive into what triggers behavior in the moment and (more importantly) what you can do about it.

Behavior can be best understood when it is broken apart into context and outcome.

Context is the situation immediately before to the behavior in question; it is the overall situation the child finds herself inside of. Based upon this context, appropriate behavior or inappropriate behavior can be triggered. Contexts trigger behavior. This explains why we act one way in one situation and another way in another situation.

The outcome is what happens as a result of the behavior. This is what your child actually gets as a result of their behavior. Outcomes are very important to understand if you want to change your child’s behavior. In the next episode we will focus on understanding and controlling outcome to get the results you want.

This week the focus is on changing the context to stop triggering meltdowns. To do this, consider what situations your kids are in when they have meltdowns. Then figure out what you are able to change about that context to improve it for your child. For example, if your child acts out when he or she is bored, what can you do to make them less bored? If it happens when they have too much screen time, then maybe you should limit screen time. Other common contexts that cause problems include the following: not getting enough sleep, not getting enough exercise, being hungry, lack of routine, lack of free time, etc.

Often identifying the issue with the context isn’t the problem. It’s actually making the decision to make a change. Like so many things, mindset is key.

EPISODE 38: PREPARING TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT DEATH

As a parent, it is hard to know how to approach the topic of death and dying. Oftentimes the need to have this conversation emerges suddenly, and as a parent you want to feel prepared. This week I’ll cover four important things to know before having this conversation with your kids.

1. Be proactive. Start the conversation with them right away before others have a chance to, if at all possible. They know you and trust you, so it will be best coming from you. Also, it will help them avoid having to sort through inaccurate information. 


2. Be simple. Use words like “dead” and "death” rather than “passed away” or “fell asleep and didn’t wake up.” This helps your child more accurately understand what death is. Next, don’t feel the need to overshare. Tell them what they need to know, but not more. You can always add to the conversation later if something changes. 


3. Be supportive. Your kids may not react with the emotions you think they would have. That’s okay. Young kids may laugh, they may not seem to care, or they may be frightened. There is a whole host of ways they may react, and all the ways  above are developmentally appropriate for young kids. 


4. Be persistent. One conversation is often not enough. Check in with them frequently, since they may feel fine at first but then feel overwhelmed later.

EPISODE 37: SUPPORTING KIDS WHO HATE SCHOOL

For every kiddo that is thriving at school, you can bet there is another that is drowning. Your young child might be asking or even begging to stay home from school. Your teen may be taking matters into their own hands and ditching. In this episode I will tackle this issue from the perspective of young AND older kids.

For young kids, figure out why they don’t want to go to school.
- The first question to ask yourself is whether or not your child is asking to stay home because they want to hear your response. As loving parents, we of course are concerned for our kids emotional well-being. We want them to enjoy school. So when they come to us and say they don’t want to go to school, we can get all "mama bear" on them. And who doesn’t want their mom or dad’s protection? I’m not saying your kid is making up their feelings. No. But I am saying that sometimes we make the situation worse when we draw too much attention to it.
- If you don’t think that is the issue, the next thing to consider is this: Is it an academic issue? If the work is too hard, consider options to get more support (e.g., tutoring). Is it possible/appropriate to hold your child back a year? Kids don’t develop at the exact same pace, so perhaps your child isn’t ready yet. Is it a social issue? If that is the problem, ask for your teacher help. Maybe they can pair your son or daughter up with another student who might be a good friend. Social skills groups may be available and offered by the school counselor. Is the teacher the issue? Sometimes it’s just not a good match between your child and the teacher. If you have first tried to make it work to no avail, maybe you need to request a teacher change.


Unfortunately with older kids, we can’t “make” them do much of anything. Also, the consequences of their behavior are often out of our control, more severe, and long-lasting. Despite that, there is a lot you can do to support them.
- Request a meeting with the school counselor (without your child) to find out how they can provide support. Be wary of scare tactics where they want to bring in the school police officer, etc. That may be necessary and helpful eventually, but it’s not a great place to start. Instead, try to keep everything as positive as possible. because it might result in your child shutting down or being defensive.
- Consider asking the school to draft a behavior contract where you, the school, and your child make a commitment of what they will do to achieve an outcome. Providing a reward to your child meeting their end of the bargain is often helpful. Also outlining natural consequences for not attending school is suggested.
- Involve your child in the process as much as possible. What personal goals do they have? How will ditching school negatively impact those goals? How will attending school get them closer to those goals?
- Try to get the bottom of why your child is avoiding school. Ask the same sort of questions outlined for above for older kids: Is it because it is too hard? Issues with friends? Trauma from a specific event? The school might be able to connect your child with short-term group counseling or a few individual sessions. In the long-term, you may want to connect your child with a mental healthcare provider (e.g., social worker, therapist, etc.) that can help.
- Some kids that struggle with depression or anxiety qualify for special education services because their condition impacts their ability to adequately access education. This may increase their likelihood of avoiding school. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), one in 5 kids is impacted by a mental health condition. If you think that your child might be, you may need to request a full psycho-educational evaluation from the school. Kids who qualify receive a combination of free academic accommodations and/or modifications, counseling services, and more.

EPISODE 36: HELPING YOUR CHILD THRIVE ACADEMICALLY

As we raise our kids in the 21st century, it is hard to know how to support them academically. This week I’ll talk about how to prepare young kids for school and some alternative settings to consider for older kids who aren’t thriving in the traditional public school setting.

Coming soon.

EPISODE 35: HOW NOT TO LOSE YOUR MIND WHEN YOUR CHILD LIES

Lying is just one of those things that can get under your skin as a parent. Even when it happens at developmentally appropriate ages, it’s hard. How SHOULD you handle it when your kiddo lies to you? This week I’m going to give you three things to consider before deciding how to react when your child lies to you.
  • First of all try not to react emotionally, and take a moment to think about the situation as objectively as possible. How old is your child? Developmentally, kids typically aren’t capable of lying until about 4 years of age. Even then, they usually aren’t good at it yet. If your child is late preschool to early elementary, chances are you will often know when they lie. This is a good thing, because it means you can greatly influence their behavior in this area. So try not to get upset and focus on turning into a teaching moment.
  • Second, consider giving a second chance, especially if your child doesn’t usually lie and is remorseful. There is a difference between habitually lying and occasionally lying. Every child lies sometimes. And if your child is sorry, then extending them forgiveness models good conflict relolution. If you do decide to give your child a second chance, explain why trust is an important part of any relationship. If trust is broken, you may have to make changes. For example, if your child lies about using an iPad when they aren’t supposed to, the consequence might be that the iPad gets put out of reach of the child if the behavior happens again. Even if it does happen a second time, you might consider telling your child that putting it up isn’t a punishment. It’s just what you as the parent have to do to keep them safe, but that eventually trust can be rebuilt. Explain to them how they can earn back your trust.
  • Third, if you strongly suspect your child is lying but they won't fess up, you can give them two options. One is that they tell you the truth now, and the two of you can come up with a consequence together. However, if they don’t confess but you confirm later that they were lying, then the consequence is going to be ________. You fill in the blank. Try to choose something that relates to what they are lying about, if possible. Keep in mind that it is sort of a catch-22. If it’s too terrible you might run the risk of teaching them to be skillful liars to avoid punishment. On the flip side, if you never give consequences when your child admits they have lied to you, then you might find yourself in a situation where your son or daughter frequently and flippantly lies and apologizes. It’s a delicate balance. 

EPISODE 34: SOME DAYS MOM JUST NEEDS A MIMOSA- WITH ABBEY WILLIAMS

Everyone’s parenting journey is unique, and I truly believe we can learn so much for each other’s experience. This week I have Abbey Williams from Mimosas with Moms talking about her personal journey as mom. From being a single mom, to being a mom of a blended family, to how to know when to take your child to see a therapist and beyond. You are going to love this week’s show!

Show Notes:


*Check out Abbey on IG here (https://www.instagram.com/mimosaswithmoms/) for daily inspiration to help get through this crazy beautiful thing we call parenting:

*Find her on FB here (https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Podcast/Mimosas-with-Moms-by-Abbey-Williams-2329402587291677/)

*Listen to her podcast Mimosas with Moms (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mimosas-with-moms/id1449622243)

EPISODE 33: HOW TO MOTIVATE THE "UNMOTIVATED" CHILD

Some kids are easy to motivate. They sort of naturally have their eye on the prize, and all you have to do is remind them of where they are headed. For other kids it can sometimes feels like NOTHING motivates them. The good news is I’m truly convinced that that every child can be motivated. Some are just trickier than others to figure out. In this episode, I’ll cover three ways to troubleshoot if your child is hard to motivate.

Show notes:

Don’t be afraid to be creative. If your child won’t work to GET something, maybe they will work to GET OUT of something (like a chore that he or she doesn’t like).

Interview your child. This may sound obvious, but often we parents make assumptions about what our kids SHOULD want. Sometimes we are wrong. One of the things I talk about is the importance of getting your child’s buy-in, and this definitely increases their buy in.

Sometimes all it takes is setting up clear boundaries and structure where FIRST they have to do what they don’t want to do and THEN they get to do what they actually want to do.

EPISODE 32: OPTING OUT TO OPT IN TO WHAT MATTERS IN 2020

The new year is a great time to reflect on what is working and make changes to what isn’t. This week I am replaying an episode I did earlier this year with my husband, Nate. In it I will give you several ideas to make 2020 the year you are intentional on what you opt out of as a family, so that you can opt into what actually matters.
There are only so many hours in the day, and by saying yes to things, you are also saying no to others. Be purposeful and intentional with these choices. 
  • As a family, for now we have decided to say no to organized sports so we can say yes to sports we do as a family. 
  • For those of two-parent households, prioritizing your relationship with each other benefits the entire family. 
  • A weekly date night (either going out or cooking together once our kids are in bed) is one way that we are doing this in our family. 
  • Serving others in need is a great way to bring your family together. 
  • As a family we are involved with a non-profit called Safe Families for Children (safe-families.org), where we take in kids to our home from time to time. This has been a blessing in our home and inspired some great conversations. 

EPISODE 31: THRIVING RATHER THAN JUST SURVIVING THIS HOLIDAY

The holidays can be a lot of fun, but the lack of structure and increased time together can make everyone start to go a little crazy. This week I will give you three tips to thrive with your kids this holiday break rather than just survive.

1. Minimize- Take some time to go through your kids' toys and donate what they no longer play with. The more toys they have, the more things that will be on their floor (and all over your house). One of the things parents tell me they fight about with their kids is cleaning up.


2. Organize- Create a schedule for the days that you have off together. Have your kids participate in creating it to increase their buy-in.


3. Revitalize- Take time to reflect on your relationship with your child. What is going well? What is an area that is a stumbling block? So much of improving our relationship with our kiddos starts with a shift in mindset. We know the right things to do, but don’t always do them. What is one thing that you can do differently to make the holiday break a better time for you and your kids?

EPISODE 30: PREVENTING THREENAGER MELTDOWNS

The toddler years are a blessing and a curse at the same time. On the one hand, it’s amazing to see your little one’s personality come to life! Yet there is a reason that the term threenager was coined. In this episode I will give you three things to do to improve your relationship with your kiddo and reduce the number of meltdowns.
- Providing choices gives three year olds back some power. In a world where they want control, but have very little of it, a few choices can go a long way.

- Secondly, make sure to keep your language simple… ESPECIALLY when your kids are upset. Kids at this age have limited language skills. When you couple that with spikes in cortisol and other stress hormones that occur when they get upset, the result is that they understand VERY little of what you say when they are upset. Limit the number of words in the sentences you say to them when they are upset.

- Consider why the behavior is happening. Does your child want to get something from you? If so teach them how to request what they want appropriately, teach them to wait, and teach them to accept alternatives when what they want is not available. Do they want to get out of doing something? If so, consider if it’s a “can’t do” thing or a “won’t do” thing. If they can’t do it (or it’s very difficult), make it easier for them. If they can do and and won’t do it (but it’s still something that needs to be done), you may need to use consequences like loss of privileges or hand over hand assistance.

EPISODE 29: LOVING ON SICK KIDDOS WITHOUT CREATING BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS

As a parent, nothing breaks your heart like when your kiddo gets sick. You want to do everything in your control to help your little one feel better. Sometimes this can get you into to trouble though. When kids are sick parents can inadvertently foster behavior problems that can stick around long after the illness is gone. Our conversation this week is all about giving our kids the extra love they need when they don’t feel well, without creating behavior issues that persist.
1. As much as possible, plan ahead. Rather than not following through with what you ask, try to ask LESS of your child. For example, it would be better to pick up your child’s toys for them without asking for their help, than ask them to help, have them complain and argue, and then give in. As always, no mom or dad guilt allowed. If you do happen to give in when your child acts out, give your child grace, give yourself grace, and then move on. However, by trying to plan in advance, you can MINIMIZE this how often this happens.
 
2. Create an environment that is comfortable, but not overly stimulating. For example, if your child has unlimited screen time when he or she is sick, then they might not be able to nap as much as needed. There is a lot of research to suggest that watching screens may make it challenging to fall asleep for all of us. I’m not suggesting NO screens, just not an unlimited amount. Plus, if you happen to have kids who would rather be home than at school, your kids might feel compelled to take a LOT of sick days.
 
3. Be mindful about medicine. I know that as a parent, anytime my kids have a fever my first thought is to give them pain medicine. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do that (definitely consult with your pediatrician, especially regarding infants), but before you do I challenge you to consider a few things first. If their fever goes away, will they still feel compelled to rest or will they overexert themselves? Also, what if having a fever is actually what they need? There is some interesting research that suggests having a fever might actually HELP your child fight whatever illness they have. Check out the Mayo Clinic website (https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fever/in-depth/fever/art-20050997) for more details.

 

EPISODE 28: BECOMING THE UNSTOPPABLE MOM- WITH LINDSAY PRESTON

As a mom, I often feel like I am juggling- career, marriage, parent, and more. It’s not just me, right? It is easy to feel overwhelmed. This week I am interviewing Lindsay Preston from the Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast about goal setting, work/life BLEND rather than BALANCE, and more. She will even share some of her personal journey about what it was like to suddenly be a single parent in her late twenties, and how she used this challenging experience to get where she is today.
- Lindsay is a certified life coach. Her passion is teaching goal-getting, fear-facing women the neuroscience-backed process for life-long success. If you loved Lindsay, check out this free assessment (https://lindsaypreston.typeform.com/to/Ffu8OX) to see if working with her is a good fit for you!
 
- You can find her on IG here (https://www.instagram.com/lindsayepreston/) and listen to her Become an Unstoppable Woman podcast here (https://www.lindsayepreston.com/unstoppablepodcast/).
 
- In our interview together Lindsay shared a lot of great insights. One of the biggest take-aways had to do with minimizing mom-guilt. Specifically in today’s culture we shouldn’t feel guilty for achieving work/life BLEND rather than BALANCE. For example, we might feel guilty for writing that email while we sit on the park bench while our kids play at the park. This is because the notion of work/life balance suggests that we need to leave work at work. The problem is that in today’s workplace, that is not always feasible. However, there are upsides to this as well! Today’s parent is sometimes able to do some work from home and flex their time. So long as it goes both ways, this can be a positive thing. Going back to the park example, the very fact that the parent is AT the park with their kiddo might be a result of this blend.

 

EPISODE 27: RAISING GRATEFUL LITTLE HUMANS

Ever wonder what you can you do to raise grateful little humans?! This week is Thanksgiving, and I think it is the perfect time to contemplate this topic. In this episode I’ll go over three practical ways to do just this. For the fun of it, I’ve also included a short interview with my daughter, Ady.
1) Make a decision as parents to model being content and grateful. Being grateful is wanting what you have and nothing more.
2) Make sure your kids have some “skin” in the game. Use a reward system so that they begin to understand what it’s like to actually have to earn some of what they have.
3) Make a habit of serving your community together as a family. Our family is a host family for Safe Families for Kids (https://safe-families.org).

 

EPISODE 26: UNDERSTANDING SENSORY PROCESSING WITH WENDY BERTAGNOLE

A lot of times when are kids act out, it’s because they want us to give them something or they want to get out of something they don’t like doing. But what about sensory processing?! Sometimes our kids do something (or don’t do it) because of the sensation it provides. How should we respond when our kids act out because of unique sensory needs? This week I’m interviewing Wendy Bertagnole from the Exceptional Parenting Podcast to discuss this important topic. You will love Wendy’s approach to this topic because she is very child-centric and empathetic.
In this episode Wendy talks about seven cups of sensory processing that vary in their size from small to large. If you child has a small cup in one of the seven areas, then he or she will have a difficult time handling sensations related to that cup, and if it is large then he or she may feel the need to do whatever it takes to get more of the sensations related to the cup. Knowing this, you can do your best to create an environment that accommodates your child’s unique sensory needs and work with your child to expand or contract the size of their cups when possible and appropriate. If this topic resonates with you, make sure you check out her free cheat-sheet about how to tame tantrums.
 
(https://wendybertagnole.com/taming-tantrums-download/ ) and follow Wendy on instagram (https://www.instagram.com/wendybertagnole/). You can also listen to Wendy’s show called the Exceptional Parenting Podcast (www.exceptionalparentingpodcast.com).

 

EPISODE 25: HOW TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX AND PORNOGRAPHY WITH EMILY GAUDREAU

If there is a more dreaded conversation as a parent, then I am not aware of it... Yep that’s right. I’m talking about the birds and the bees conversation. However, in our world today kids are learning about sex and pornography at surprisingly young ages. What age should we start talking to them about this? How should we do it? This week I am interviewing Emily Gaudreau from the podcast How to Raise a Maverick about this very topic. You do not want to miss this interview! Personally I walked away with so much new information and ideas to use in my own home, and I know you will too.
Emily Gaudreau is a Colorado native on a mission to end child sexual abuse. She's armed with a microphone and seriously black coffee. Emily's proud to have created a powerful nature-based abuse prevention program that is changing the way parents talk to their kids about sex. She helps people all over the world show the kids in their lives that LOVE is worth fighting for.
 
Connect with Emily:
 
-Visit her website: emilygaudreau.com
 
-Listen to her podcast called How to Raise a Maverick:
 

 

EPISODE 24: A GUIDE TO RESTED NIGHTS WITH SAMANTHA DAY

This episode goes out to all the tired parents out there desperate for answers! In it I interview Samantha Day who is a mom of two, children’s author, and certified child sleep expert. Samantha reveals some tips and strategies to guide parents down the path to a more rested and happy home.
If you enjoy this week’s episode, make sure you connect with Samantha! She provides several resources through social media, her podcast called Happy Days Rested Nights, and her two children's books that model healthy sleep habits. You can find out more and connect with her in the following ways:

Website - www.samanthadayconsulting.com

Instagram - www.instagram.com/samanthadaysleepconsulting

Facebook - www.facebook.com/samanthadaysleepconsulting

and for immediate assistance options - www.samanthadayconsulting.com/immediate-assistance/

 

EPISODE 23: WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH SLEEP TRAINING?

Parents can be so divisive at times, and this is especially true about certain hot topics. One such topic is infant sleep training. If we look at extremes when it comes to this topic, in one camp are parents and professionals that say sleep training is ESSENTIAL for both baby and mother. They even go as far to say that if you don’t sleep train you are causing some sort of harm to your baby. In the other camp are the people who say letting your baby cry AT ALL will cause irreversible damage to them. Here is the deal, most of us parents and professionals fall somewhere in between, and I am not an exception. As a sneak peak into the episode, I am a firm believer that there are several things you can do to help your child learn to self-soothe at a younger age. That being said, I am all about empowering moms and dads; you are the expert in terms of your baby and your family! Listen to this episode and then decide for yourself what is best for your family.
Babies aren’t born with the ability to self-soothe. It is something they learn. Parents of young kids often talk about the glorious future when their kiddo will “sleep through the night.” Interestingly, babies don’t actually sleeping though the night. Basically what happens is that they continue to periodically wake up during the night, but eventually don’t need your help to go back to sleep.

Here is the good news. The research shows that most kids will sleep through the night without major intervention. That’s right, no matter what you do or don’t do, most of the time kids "sleep through the night" by about one year of age. That being said, here are several things you can do to help your child learn to self-soothe:

-Little babies often only eat for very short periods of time before falling asleep. It can be helpful to try to keep them awake (by tickling their toes etc.) to feed for increasingly longer periods of time so that once they are a few months old you can start to use a (loose) schedule with them.
 
-If you adopt a feed, play, and then sleep schedule (rather than a play, feed, and then sleep), then you can rock your baby to sleep rather than feed them to help them fall asleep. Of course in middle of the night, you will most likely just feed them and put them back to sleep. This will allow you avoid a strong association between feeding to fall asleep.
 
-Eventually, you can start putting your child in their crib a few times per day (e.g., when you need to shower, cook, or do other activities) when they are drowsy rather than sleeping. This might mean that they cry for a while before falling asleep, but the research shows that babies that get love and affection all day but are allowed to cry for short periods of time are not negatively impacted.
 
-One common method of infant sleep training is the Ferber method where parents allow kids to cry for a designated period of time, but then come in and comfort their child (without taking them out of their bed) for a bit before repeating as many times as necessary. This has shown to be an effective method of sleep training. Even if you don’t use this method, you can start to wait a few minutes to see if your baby will go back to sleep on their own when they wake up in the middle of the night.

 

EPISODE 22: ADHD: AN 8-YEAR-OLD'S PERSPECTIVE

Throughout life, certain events stand as a marker in time that distinctly separate the old from the new. Recently our family experienced one of those events. In a previous episode I mentioned that my son has ADHD and we were contemplating medication. Fast forward to today, my son has been on meds for a little over a month, and it has truly been a game changer for him. In this week’s episode I am going to do something a little different. Rather than ME talking about what the last month has looked like, I’m going to play an interview I did with my son so that HE can tell you with his own words what this experience has been like.
Since this week is primarily an interview with my son Landon about his unique journey with being diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed medication, the show notes are limited. I do want to emphasize that this week’s show reflects my son’s unique experiences. You might be fully against using medication for ADHD. That’s okay! As usual, I fully support YOU as the parent doing your best to help your child navigate life’s challenges.

 

EPISODE 21: DOES INTUITIVE EATING WORK WITH KIDS?

The cultural norm when I was a child was processed food. Fast forward to today, some people have become so obsessed with clean eating that they have developed eating disorders. In response an approach called intuitive eating was born. It’s been very helpful at helping those with disordered eating, but is it an approach you should use with your kids who don’t have an eating disorder? This week I will give you my take as a behavior analyst on using intuitive eating with kids. You can also check out my video blog on this topic: https://www.prismbehavior.com/blog/intuitive_eating_with_kids
As a sneak peak into the episode, I think there are several GREAT things about this approach that you should consider adopting with your kids.
 
Some of the positive things about using this approach with your kids include the following:
  • It calls out "diet culture." Dieting involves restricting food groups and food amounts. Research shows that dieting results in weight fluctuations and a lot of mental health issues. It also is linked to a risk of developing an eating disorder.
  • It helps teach your kids to get in touch with their body’s hunger cues.
  • It encourages your child to make age-appropriate choices about what they eat, how much, etc.

There also a few things that you may want to think twice about. Some specific thoughts I share include:

  • Very little research about using this approach with kids currently exists.
  • Kids often need to try things several times before learning to enjoy eating them. This approach may discourage kids from trying things enough times.
  • Some food is more nutritious than others. In my professional opinion, highlighting this does not mean your child will develop an unhealthy relationship with food. 

 

EPISODE 20: IT'S OKAY NOT TO ENJOY EVERY MOMENT

The other day someone asked me, “Are you enjoying every single minute?" Mind you, my husband and I were leaving a restaurant with our two kiddos, and it had been a pretty typical evening out... complete with a meltdown or two! To that well-meaning lady, I said “Definitely not every movement!” Probably due to my blunt (but friendly) tone, she raised her eyebrows at me a bit before winking. This week on the podcast, I talk about the fact that it's okay not to enjoy every moment. I will walk you through five things you can do to get through particularly challenging moments (and even whole seasons!) of this crazy thing we call parenting.
-Admit to yourself (and a close friend!) that you are going through a challenging season with your kids.
-Do some inventory regarding self-care. What are you currently doing (or NOT doing) to take care of yourself.
-Shift some responsibility to your spouse, if at all possible.
-Seek out more specialized assistance such as counseling, if you think the issue maybe more related to depression or anxiety than the circumstances.
-If the issue centers around your kids acting out, consider making a change. For example, you could try using a reward system.

EPISODE 19: SCREEN TIME - FIVE THINGS TO CONSIDER

I grew up in a home with one TV and no cable. I remember getting our first computer and playing DOS games like Commander Keen and Prince of Persia! It wasn’t until I was married that I sent my first text message. All that to say, the world that my kids are growing up in sure is a much different one than I grew up in. As a parent it can be hard to know how to approach things like screen time with our kids. How much is too much? This week I will be tackling this issue head on. Specifically I will walk you through five things you should consider when deciding what screen time will look like in YOUR home. 
-Decide on limits and put them in place. Most kids in the US are in front of screens two or more hours each day (not including academic activities), yet professionals recommend capping the time at an hour. An hour is NOT a magical number, so if you decide on more or less, that is fine. It’s more about the accountability that this creates for your kids AND you.
-Allow yourself to make exceptions to the rule you set as needed. Whether your kids are home sick, you have an important project, or you're just having one of those days, exceptions are FINE. No mom or dad guilt allowed.
-Put safe guards in place. Consider where your child will be able to use screens. Many professionals recommend not allowing your kids to have their devices in their room. Learn to use the restrictions on the device to block explicit content.
-Be mindful of the timing of screen time. Research shows that screen time right before bed fcan disrupt sleep. A high percentage of kids are not getting enough sleep as it is, so you can bet screen time right before bed doesn’t help.
-Finally, make sure that screen time isn’t getting in the way of other more important things. Making time to connect with your kids on a regular basis by reading, playing, and just talking to them are highly important. Also, make sure your kids are getting enough physical activity. 

EPISODE 18: THREE EASY THINGS YOU CAN DO TO IMPROVE THE HOMEWORK SITUATION IN YOUR HOME 

Truth be told, I’m fundamentally against homework in the elementary years. There’s just a lot of evidence that it’s not helpful. The only exception to this is daily reading. Unfortunately, if your child is in a traditional school setting, most likely there is no escaping homework. More than that, it’s something that parents and kids often fight about. But I have good news for you! It doesn’t have to be this way. This week I will talk about three easy things you can do to improve the homework situation in your home.
-Create a structured environment. Make a schedule for when and where homework is completed. Ensure that your child gets to do a few FUN things right after homework, to motivate him or her to get it done.

-If the structure and routine is not enough, then you may need to troubleshoot. For example, consider breaking up homework into smaller chunks. You can use a digital timer and say your child needs to work for a certain amount of minutes before getting a short break. Another option is to say she or he needs to complete a certain amount of homework (e.g., number of math problems) before getting a break.

-Consider negotiating less homework with the teacher. For example, if your child struggles the most with reading but excels in math, ask the teacher to do MORE reading and LESS math for homework.

BONUS EPISODE: DEFIANCE REVISITED 

One of the most popular episodes in the podcast so far was when I took on the topic of defiance, so this week we will take a second look.

EPISODE 17: RAISING RESPONSIBLE LITTLE HUMANS 

No parent ever says to herself or himself, I want to enable my kids and be a helicopter parent. So why is it so hard these days to encourage our kids to be independent? How SHOULD we raise our little humans in order to help them to grow into the independent adults we hope they will become?! This week I will break it down by age and go over effective strategies to encourage independence with toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary age kiddos.
Toddlers: Train them young! At about a year, start teaching them to put their toys away. Choose a clean up song to consistently use (which will help them if they don’t yet have much language) and then help your kids put two or three items away a few times per day.
Preschool: Make a short list of daily “chores,” like cleaning up toys, putting shoes in a bin, and putting clothes in the hamper. Use a list with pictures to help them know what they need to do.
Elementary: By kindergarten, kids can learn to do MANY self-care things on their own and some household chores as well. Some examples include:
Making a school lunch.
Getting up in the morning with an alarm clock.
Brushing teeth (a digital timer can help).
One or two household chores that are not self-care related.

EPISODE 16: SLEEP TRAINING: HOW TO GET YOUR TODDLER TO SLEEP THOUGH THE NIGHT

As a parent, sleeping often feels like a luxury. When you first bring your baby home from the hospital, you expect that you won’t sleep. But what do you do about the toddler who stopped sleeping through the night at some point in time? This week I will go over several quick tips for you to use to help your toddler (and you!) sleep through the night.
Set the stage with the right routine. Ensure that the child has a predictable routine before bed that includes quality time between you and your child. Sometimes incorporating the use of a digital timer or written down schedule (words or pictures) can be helpful.
Choose an incentive that your child actually wants. It has to be something your child really wants and something you are willing to withhold from the child in all other circumstances.  
Take it one (realistic) step at a time. Of course the ultimate goal is for your son or daughter to sleep all night long every night, but take a deep breath and realize that changing behavior is a process. Start small.
So what do you do if your child gets up when they aren’t supposed to? I recommend that you say something simple like, “You got up too many times, so now you don’t earn ______.” Say it once in a calm, but firm voice. Then bring your child back to bed as many times as it takes without providing unnecessary attention (e.g., without talking to him or her, providing eye contact, or giving more physical contact than is necessary to safely assist the child back into his or her bed). This is the hard but necessary part! 
Before you start anything get your child’s buy in. It is very important to sit your child down and talk to him or her about the plan that you have created. Let them help make the materials if you are using a reward chart. Everything should be framed in a positive way to your child so he or she sees it as an opportunity to earn “cool stuff” rather than some sort of punishment.
If you do these things and they don’t work, don’t be afraid to adjust and try again! In terms of trouble shooting, you may need to make changes to your program if it isn’t working. 

EPISODE 15: FOUR EASY (YET PROVEN!) WAYS TO HELP YOUR PICKY EATER

When my son first started eating baby food, he would eat everything. He wasn’t picky at all. A little after he turned one, all that suddenly changed. We went through a period of time where I had to put his dinner in a blender combined with hummus, to get him to eat. Today he eats just about everything, and I relied on my behavioral training to help get him there. This week I will walk you through four easy (yet proven!) ways to help your picky eater become a less picky. There is no magical answer, but if you follow the steps I’m confident that you WILL see improvement!
  • For picky eaters, be mindful of snacks. One in between meals is typically sufficient for kids, unless they are going through a growth spurt. Ensuring that the snacks include some type of protein that will keep kids full until the next meal are advisable. Beyond that, you may choose to provide free access to certain foods (like cold cut veggies or fruit). If your child doesn’t eat all of his dinner because he’s had too many carrots, you probably don’t care!
  • Give choices to your child. This can include allowing him or her to participate in meal planning, choosing how they eat of each item, etc. 
  • Consider making a rule where kids are required to “eat a little bit of everything.” Though it’s good to serve meals with items your child likes, it is not always possible to do this perfectly. Requiring your child to at least eat a BITE of everything you sere (even of things he or she doesn’t like) will ensure repeated exposure to items. Kids often need to try items several times before they learn to like them.
  • With food your child doesn’t particularly like, consider rewarding him or her in some way for trying the item.

EPISODE 14: SHIFTING YOUR MINDSET

Imagine a fork in the road. On one side is the parenting you’ve been doing all along. There are good days and there are bad days. You love your kids! But often you are living in a reactive state. Don’t do this and don’t do that! You often feel like a broken record. On the other side is a different approach. This approach takes more planning... it’s proactive in nature, but it results in less frustration for you and your children. This week’s podcast is all about a shift in mindset. More specifically, I will give you three easy ways to begin to shift your mindset and parenting style from being reactive to proactive.
  • Make a list of two or three “trigger situations" where your kids are likely to act out. As parents we get caught up in the moment, and often we let these situations repeat over and over again.
  • Make a hypothesis of why your child is acting out in each trigger situation. Episode two of this podcast is all about why behavior happens, but the basic idea is that behavior occurs to get things (including activities and attention) that we want OR to get out of doing things we don’t want to do. Why do you think your child is acting out? Write it down.
  • Come up with something your child can do in these triggers situations before they make the choice to misbehave. Here are some of the examples we spoke about in the episode:
    • Picky eating during meals: less snacks, more preferred foods each meal, more choices, rewarding if your child eats a little bit of everything.
    • Meltdowns during bedtime: visual schedule of bedtime routine, use of a timer, star chart with short-term and long-term rewards.
    • Tantrums when told to clean room: start small and only require the child to pick up a few items at a time, reward them for cleaning (e.g., pause a TV show and only turn it back on once they have cleaned). 

EPISODE 13: OPENING UP ABOUT ADHD

ADHD is a common disorder impacting kids and adults. For kids it commonly impacts academics, behavior, and relationships with peers. This week I will go over what ADHD is, as well as some of the common medications prescribed to help those with this diagnosis. I will also open up about how this topic is currently impacting our family. 
  • The three subtypes of ADHD are inattentive, hyperactive/impulsive, and combined. Most children with ADHD have the combined subtype.
  • Not all kids with ADHD need medication, but for some it can be very helpful.
  • The two main categories of medication for those with this diagnosis are stimulant and non-stimulant medication. Stimulant medication often works immediately, but non-stimulant medication can take a few weeks.
  • Stimulant medication is very effective for many kids, so doctors typically start with it. For those with certain medical conditions, those who experience side effects from stimulant medication, or those whose symptoms do not improve, doctors prescribe non-stimulant medication.
 
 

EPISODE 12: SIBLING RIVALRY

This week we talk about siblings, and more specifically sibling rivalry. I know it’s not just my house! Although my kids get along most of the time, they also fight like all siblings do. Many parents wonder how to keep the peace in their own house, so I will be going over four simple strategies you can use to keep fighting between siblings at bay. As a bonus, I’ve also included a free resource to help you uncover what to do if you find one sibling frequently bullying the other. 
 
  • Discover activities that all of your kids like to do, and invest in them. For example, if your kids enjoy board games, then have a lot of them on hand to encourage them to spend time together.
  • Even if space is abundant, consider having your kids share a room when they are young.
  • Come up with a simple rule for sharing that works in your home. For example, kids close in age might only be allowed to have a limited number of items they aren’t required to share.
  • Put rules in place about problem solving. For example, you might tell your kids that during specific periods of time (e.g., while you are cooking) they need to work any arguments out between themselves unless one of them is physically hurt. You can allow them to tell you about it once you are finished (which they often won’t feel the need to do!). This may require extra planning on your part as the parent, because you will need to teach them to express their frustration with each other in an appropriate way.
  • As a bonus, here is a free resource to use if you find one sibling frequently bullying the other:
  • Download Here
 
 

EPISODE 11: ALTERNATIVES TO TIME-OUT 

Guess what?! No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be the perfect parent… and your kids won’t be perfect either! Though giving your child (and yourself!) room to make mistakes is often the right approach, punishment is sometimes still necessary. Last week I spoke about time-out, a discipline strategy that can make your children less likely to act out in the future. This week, I will go several alternatives to time-out, walking you through the best ways to use them with your own kids.
When kids are doing an activity they don’t like (e.g., cleaning their room), time-outs don’t usually work. This is because sitting on time-out might actually be more “fun” than what they are supposed to be doing. In this situation, consider using one of the following strategies: 
  • Require your child to finish what they have been told to do. Remind them of something fun they can do afterwards, but don’t let them do a different activity until they complete part or all of the task.
  • Take away a privilege. Choose something that is important, but not catastrophic to your child. Bigger is not necessarily better. Also, choose something that you are willing to follow through with. This also works well with older kids who have grown out of time-outs.
If your child has done something to hurt another (either physically or emotionally), consider using a restorative justice approach. This simply means that you require your child to fix the situation with the other person. For example, if your child destroyed a sandcastle that another child built, she could help the child rebuild the castle.
 

EPISODE 10: Time-Outs: Three Simple Steps for Using Time-Outs Effectively!

No matter how positive and proactive you are as a parent, your kids will still act out from time to time. Time-out is a common (and effective!) way to react to your child when they misbehave, but it is often misunderstood. Join in as we discuss what time-out is, how to do it (and how not to do it!), and when to do it.
 
Time-out is when your child goes from an enjoyable situation to a less enjoyable situation. It shouldn’t be used if the child is already doing something they don’t like (e.g., cleaning their room), because you can’t be sure if the time-out is actually less enjoyable than what they are escaping from. The basic structure of time-out is:
    • Remind your child of what they should (rather than shouldn’t) be doing.
    • Have your child sit on time-out. Another option is to take something away from your child for a period of time.
    • Use a timer, adding one minute per year of age. When it goes off, remind your child of the rule once more… then drop it and let them go back to what they were doing.

EPISODE 9: How our Family Opts OUT to Opt IN - With my Husband Nate!

Crazy busy? This week is for you! I bring on Nate Maguire, my husband and the show’s first ever guest. To make it extra fun, we decided to film the whole thing so you can either listen to it or watch it on my facebook page at facebook.com/prismbehavior. The topic for the week is on being intentional on what you opt out of as a family so that you can opt into what actually matters. 
There are only so many hours in the day, and by saying yes to things, you are also saying no to others. Be purposeful and intentional with these choices. 
  • As a family, for now we have decided to say no to organized sports so we can say yes to sports we do as a family. 
  • For those of two-parent households, prioritizing your relationship with each other benefits the entire family. 
  • A weekly date night (either going out or cooking together once our kids are in bed) is one way that we are doing this in our family. 
  • Serving others in need is a great way to bring your family together. 
  • As a family we are involved with a non-profit called Safe Families for Children (safe-families.org), where we take in kids to our home from time to time. This has been a blessing in our home and inspired some great conversations. 

EPISODE 8: POTTY TRAINING PART 2 - TROUBLESHOOTING

As with all things we do as parents, potty training doesn’t always go as smoothly as we hoped it would. In fact, sometimes this phase can be SUPER stressful for everyone involved. What should you do when potty training has gone terribly wrong? In part two of this series, we cover some things to try when potty training is not going well, how to know when it’s time to put potty training on hold, and what to do for the older kiddo who still wets the bed. 
Some basic troubleshooting techniques from this episode include the following:
    • Improve the reward you are using to make it more motivating.
    • Involve your child in the cleanup process when they have accidents, while doing your best not overreact despite your (natural!) frustration.
    • Use a journal to discover any patterns in terms of when your child is having an accident.
    • Based upon what you learn, proactively act in those specific situations.
    • Consider temporarily allowing your child to use a pull-up (in the bathroom) to go #2.

EPISODE 7: POTTY TRAINING

What’s one thing you need to do with each of your kids that is messy, can make you want to pull your hair out, but (eventually) results in a new level of freedom for both parent and child?! That’s right… It’s potty training! In this episode we go over some potty training basics to get you started on the right track with this rite of passage. This is part one of a two-part series on this topic.
In this episode we discuss many things to do to make potty training as stress-free and successful as possible. The basic method I recommend is as follows:
    • Put the child in underwear, rather than pull-ups.
    • Give them their favorite drink.
    • Set a timer for about 30 minutes. Each time it goes off, have them sit on the potty for 5 minutes.
    • If they go #1 or #2 on the potty, give them a favorite treat (that they ONLY get for potty training) and lots of praise.
    • If they have an accident, calmly have help you clean up the accident and start over.

EPISODE 6: NATURAL CONSEQUENCES

It’s hard (and sometimes downright painful!) to watch our kids experience natural consequences when they make mistakes. However, sometimes we need to allow them to walk through life’s challenges. In this episode we go over three things to ask yourself when making the decision to allow your child to experience natural consequences or bail them out.
It’s hard (and sometimes downright painful!) to watch our kids experience natural consequences when they make mistakes. However, sometimes we need to allow them to walk through life’s challenges. In this episode we go over the following three things to ask yourself when making the decision to allow your child to experience natural consequences or bail them out:
    • How big of a deal is it?
    • Is it a pervasive issue, or a first time offense?
    • Do you have the bandwidth to rescue them?
       

EPISODE 5: EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING 

Executive functioning is a buzz word right now. It involves memory, planning, and organization. Today’s episode outlines three strategies to use to improve your child’s executive functioning skills.
Executive functioning includes skills such as memory, organization, and planning. Implementing these three things can improve your child’s skills in these areas:
    • Create a schedule with your child.
    • Incorporate the use of timers with children of all ages.
    • Put visual cues and reminders in your child’s environment.
    • Click here  to download a free example of a visual cue that can be used with kids.

 

EPISODE 4: DEFIANCE 

Today I talk all about defiance. All parents deal with defiant children from time to time, but what is the best way to respond? What works best? This episode goes over proactive and reactive strategies to use when dealing with defiance.
What is the best way to respond to your child’s defiance in moment, and what can you do to prevent it in the future? Here are some of the pointers discussed in this episode:
  • Take a deep breath. Label the behavior as defiant and give another chance for compliance. 
  • If your child still chooses to be defiant, react based upon their age.
  • For younger kids, sometimes the best bet is to provide physical guidance to assist them to complete whatever they are being defiant about.
  • For older kids, a loss of specific privileges for a short period of time often works well.
  • Make sure to use proactive strategies to prevent defiant behavior if it occurs frequently. This may include teaching appropriate negotiation skills and/or rewarding the absence of defiant behavior with incentives.

EPISODE 3: MOM GUILT

While Prism Parenting is for both moms and dads, in this episode I share some personal thoughts about something that I know many moms struggle with from time to time… It's called #momguilt. 
Sometimes it is so difficult to avoid #momguilt! In this episode, Dr. Heather Maguire opens up about her own personal journey as a mother of two young kids, highlighting the following three lies she used to tell herself:
  • I am lazy. If I worked harder, was more efficient, I could get everything on my to-do list accomplished.
  • I have to be fair to each of my kids, which means treating them exactly the same.
  • I can do this alone. I don’t need to ask for help.

EPISODE 2: WHY BEHAVIOR OCCURS

In today's episode we look at why behavior occurs. I'll share what behavioral science has to say about behavior, as well as some practical tips for you to use right away with your kiddos.
Why does your child behave the way they do? It is less complicated than you may think. Behavior psychology says that we act to get things (actual items and activities, as well as attention) and get out of things (to escape, avoid, or delay experiences that we don’t like). That’s about it! Here are some things you can do to prevent challenging behavior in the future:
  • Come up with a list of situations that often trigger your child’s misbehavior.
  • For behaviors that occur to get things, try giving your child something they like or prefer before entering a trigger situation.
  • For behaviors that occur to get out of things, the next time you are in the trigger situation make the task easier by shorting it or modifying it. Just make sure to do this proactively, rather than in response to a problematic response.

EPISODE 1: REWARD SYSTEMS

Although it is tempting to rely on punishment in the moment, reward systems are the way to go! Join me as I discuss how to build successful reward systems for each age group. After you listen, don't forget to check out the free tool I created called The Easiest Thing You Can do to Change Your Child's Behavior TODAY!
  • For toddlers, start out by giving rewards each time they are successful at whatever behavior you are working on (e.g., using the potty). 
  • For kids who are 4 or 5, you can give something small for each success (e.g., a preferred snack), but then something bigger (e.g., a small toy) for a larger number of successes.
  • For older kids, earning money is often a good incentive. For example, you can outline a specific list of behaviors to work on and use quarters as the incentive.
  • Before creating your own reward system, make sure to check out the free tool I created called The Easiest Thing You Can do to Change Your Child's Behavior TODAY!
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