Older Episodes - Prism Parenting Podcast

Time-out is when your child goes from an enjoyable situation to a less enjoyable situation. It shouldn’t be used if the child is already doing something they don’t like (e.g., cleaning their room), because you can’t be sure if the time-out is actually less enjoyable than what they are escaping from. The basic structure of time-out is:

• Remind your child of what they should (rather than shouldn’t) be doing.
• Have your child sit on time-out. Another option is to take something away from your child for a period of time.
• Use a timer, adding one minute per year of age. When it goes off, remind your child of the rule once more… then drop it and let them go back to what they were doing.

There are only so many hours in the day, and by saying yes to things, you are also saying no to others. Be purposeful and intentional with these choices. 

• As a family, for now we have decided to say no to organized sports so we can say yes to sports we do as a family. 

• For those of two-parent households, prioritizing your relationship with each other benefits the entire family. 

• A weekly date night (either going out or cooking together once our kids are in bed) is one way that we are doing this in our family. 

• Serving others in need is a great way to bring your family together. 

• As a family we are involved with a non-profit called Safe Families for Children (safe-families.org), where we take in kids to our home from time to time. This has been a blessing in our home and inspired some great conversations. 

Some basic troubleshooting techniques from this episode include the following:

• Improve the reward you are using to make it more motivating.

• Involve your child in the cleanup process when they have accidents, while doing your best not overreact despite your (natural!) frustration.

• Use a journal to discover any patterns in terms of when your child is having an accident.

• Based upon what you learn, proactively act in those specific situations.

• Consider temporarily allowing your child to use a pull-up (in the bathroom) to go #2.

In this episode we discuss many things to do to make potty training as stress-free and successful as possible. The basic method I recommend is as follows:

• Put the child in underwear, rather than pull-ups.

• Give them their favorite drink.

• Set a timer for about 30 minutes. Each time it goes off, have them sit on the potty for 5 minutes.

• If they go #1 or #2 on the potty, give them a favorite treat (that they ONLY get for potty training) and lots of praise.

• If they have an accident, calmly have help you clean up the accident and start over.

It’s hard (and sometimes downright painful!) to watch our kids experience natural consequences when they make mistakes. However, sometimes we need to allow them to walk through life’s challenges. In this episode we go over the following three things to ask yourself when making the decision to allow your child to experience natural consequences or bail them out:

• How big of a deal is it?

• Is it a pervasive issue, or a first time offense?

• Do you have the bandwidth to rescue them?

   

Executive functioning includes skills such as memory, organization, and planning. Implementing these three things can improve your child’s skills in these areas:

• Create a schedule with your child.

• Incorporate the use of timers with children of all ages.

• Put visual cues and reminders in your child’s environment.

• Click here  to download a free example of a visual cue that can be used with kids.

What is the best way to respond to your child’s defiance in moment, and what can you do to prevent it in the future? Here are some of the pointers discussed in this episode:

• Take a deep breath. Label the behavior as defiant and give another chance for compliance. 

• If your child still chooses to be defiant, react based upon their age.

• For younger kids, sometimes the best bet is to provide physical guidance to assist them to complete whatever they are being defiant about.

• For older kids, a loss of specific privileges for a short period of time often works well.

• Make sure to use proactive strategies to prevent defiant behavior if it occurs frequently. This may include teaching appropriate negotiation skills and/or rewarding the absence of defiant behavior with incentives.

Sometimes it is so difficult to avoid #momguilt! In this episode, Dr. Heather Maguire opens up about her own personal journey as a mother of two young kids, highlighting the following three lies she used to tell herself:

• I am lazy. If I worked harder, was more efficient, I could get everything on my to-do list accomplished.

• I have to be fair to each of my kids, which means treating them exactly the same.

• I can do this alone. I don’t need to ask for help.

Why does your child behave the way they do? It is less complicated than you may think. Behavior psychology says that we act to get things (actual items and activities, as well as attention) and get out of things (to escape, avoid, or delay experiences that we don’t like). That’s about it! Here are some things you can do to prevent challenging behavior in the future:

• Come up with a list of situations that often trigger your child’s misbehavior.

• For behaviors that occur to get things, try giving your child something they like or prefer before entering a trigger situation.

• For behaviors that occur to get out of things, the next time you are in the trigger situation make the task easier by shorting it or modifying it. Just make sure to do this proactively, rather than in response to a problematic response.

• For toddlers, start out by giving rewards each time they are successful at whatever behavior you are working on (e.g., using the potty). 

• For kids who are 4 or 5, you can give something small for each success (e.g., a preferred snack), but then something bigger (e.g., a small toy) for a larger number of successes.

• For older kids, earning money is often a good incentive. For example, you can outline a specific list of behaviors to work on and use quarters as the incentive.

• Before creating your own reward system, make sure to check out the free tool I created called The Easiest Thing You Can do to Change Your Child's Behavior TODAY!